As a mum it is hard to escape the advice, suggestions and handy tips on how to successfully raise healthy happy children, be a loving caring partner and maintain your own sense of self,  health and wellbeing.

Like you I have read and applied the golden rules of our mothers, grandmothers, parenting books/magazines and society at large but feel that much of that advice isn’t appropriate today for two reasons.  Firstly, the advice of old focuses on ‘sacrifice’ to your family and to others.  The second reason is that the expectations of today’s mum isn’t what it used to be – the stakes have been raised.

Job Description for today’s Mum

Today’s job description for the perfect MUM reads; aspires to be a domestic goddess,  health & nutrition expert,  mentally and emotionally in-check, excellent home decoration skills with a successful career or business.  If traditional business doesn’t inspire she should learn to blog and become a social media queen or overnight you-tube or ebook sensation raking in squillions from her one million subscribers.   Oh must also maintain a ‘ ‘hot body’ to keep well within the ‘yummy mummy’ category AND be passionate, sexy, interesting and considerate of her partner.   Not asking for too much really!

Secretly we want it all however as a mother of 3 sons 21, 18, 16 and a daughter 10,  I’ve learned some fast and hard lessons as a mum wanting and trying to do it all.

The most vital lesson of all is that life is made up of ME, US and THEM.  In order to love your life it is essential you take good care of ME first, then the needs of US (our children, intimate partner and other significant relationships) and THEM – is everything else.

Some golden rules to remember about being the best you and mum ever:-

1.      Practice self-care and self-nurture.  Self-love (that goes for everyone) is a non-negotiable requirement for being a happy, fulfilled, complete person.  Make nurturing, taking care of yourself and honoring your own needs a daily habit.  This is fundamental to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.   Stop what you’re doing at least once a day and ask yourself, ‘what’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now’?  Then go do it immediately.

2.     Make time to connect with your spouse as a lover and co-creator of a passionate and evolving relationship. It is easy to be overwhelmed with our parental responsibilities leaving us exhausted with little time for anything else.  However we should never lose sight of the fact that our intimate relationships enhance the quality of our lives, re-charging our energy in ways that nothing else can.

3.       Parent your way, your style.  If your personality is fun and upbeat then plan your family life and activities to include ‘fun and upbeat’ activities.  Throw out the rule book that says everything has to be scheduled and boring.  Sure routine is essential, but mix it up – do what works for you and your families sanity and overall happiness.

4.      Prioritize your time with ‘THEM.‘   Choose the activities and people that enhance your life, family experiences, values and dreams.  Be vigilant with this as it’s easy for others to undermine your efforts.

I believe we are here to experience life exactly as we want it.  To be, do, have everything that reinforces and escalates our level of happiness and love.  Our family and significant relationships should be the same…just because someone else is doing it one way doesn’t mean it is the way you have to do it too.

If you’re worried about what others think then remember these wise words from Bernard M. Baruch “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

About The Author

Terai Koronui empowers individuals and couples to boost their levels of love and self-worth within themselves and their personal relationships.  Her core message to the world is to discover the amazing individual you are and know that you are the ‘love’ of your life because true lasting love is from the inside out.  When you accept this in your hearts and align this with your mind and spirit, you gain a renewed zest for life, become brilliantly you, broken hearts are healed, you do what makes your heart sing, have loving relationships and create the life you love for the people you love and love you.

Terai is the founder of Love from Inside Out, mother of four and a ‘mum-preneur.’ She is known as the “Love Doctor’ in the Darling Downs Region of Queensland; dispensing advice on all matters relating to love, connecting genuinely and relationships via her ‘Love Strokes’ blog with The Toowoomba Chronicle and other APN regional papers. Visit her website:

  1. neddie

    9th August 2014 at 1:33 pm,

    MoM Rewards: neddie has a diamond MoM rewards level neddie said:

    I agree – we need to look after us – we care so much for everyone else all the time we forget about us.

  2. kazh

    29th May 2014 at 10:16 pm,

    MoM Rewards: kazh has a diamond MoM rewards level kazh said:

    It’s amazing what we expect of ourselves these days

  3. catgrrl3

    27th May 2014 at 4:01 pm,

    MoM Rewards: catgrrl3 has a diamond MoM rewards level catgrrl3 said:

    love these great golden rules

  4. 19th May 2014 at 9:49 pm,

    MoM Rewards: christial has a diamond MoM rewards level christial said:

    Love your golden rules. Though not all of them will work for every mum.

  5. mle00

    31st March 2014 at 6:15 pm,

    MoM Rewards: mle00 has a diamond MoM rewards level mle00 said:

    Just remember kids are small for such a short period of time, you will have plenty of time to be ‘you’ alone and fabulous when they are grown

  6. linaianna

    22nd March 2014 at 9:48 pm,

    MoM Rewards: linaianna has a diamond MoM rewards level linaianna said:

    Thanks for sharing this article

  7. jtama

    13th March 2014 at 5:07 pm,

    MoM Rewards: jtama has a emerald MoM rewards level jtama said:

    Great points to remember each day

  8. yyon4699

    26th January 2014 at 11:52 am,

    MoM Rewards: yyon4699 has a diamond MoM rewards level yyon4699 said:

    They are still gonna be nosy pepople out there who would constantly give their 2 cents worth of comments about how you be a mum ><

  9. ljsalomon

    3rd January 2014 at 8:54 pm,

    MoM Rewards: ljsalomon has a diamond MoM rewards level ljsalomon said:

    Enjoyed reading – thanks for sharing.

  10. vikram77

    2nd January 2014 at 2:30 am,

    MoM Rewards: vikram77 has a diamond MoM rewards level vikram77 said:

    Thanks for lovely job description. Loved reading it.

  11. 30th December 2013 at 1:22 pm,

    MoM Rewards: jadeeeee has a diamond MoM rewards level jadeeeee said:

    great advice – thanks for sharing

  12. 30th November 2013 at 7:58 pm,

    MoM Rewards: coppin85 has a diamond MoM rewards level coppin85 said:

    Thank you for sharing :)

  13. 14th November 2013 at 6:37 pm,

    MoM Rewards: memo has a diamond MoM rewards level memo said:

    Good advice, we need time to ourselves to recharge.

  14. 11th November 2013 at 10:35 am,

    MoM Rewards: coppin85 has a diamond MoM rewards level coppin85 said:

    This is really good! Thanks

  15. meltingmoment

    4th November 2013 at 6:44 pm,

    MoM Rewards: meltingmoment has a diamond MoM rewards level meltingmoment said:

    Really great advice – thanks for sharing.

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