After miscarriage – I don’t want my partner to touch me…

After miscarriage – I don’t want my partner to touch me and I don’t know what to do. Both my partner and I have kids from previous relationships and he didn’t want me to keep this baby. I miscarried a couple of weeks ago at 8 weeks and I can’t stand the thought of him touching me let alone having sex. We used to have sex 3-4 times a week and now I can’t even comprehend him touching me. Have any other mums been through these feelings? I don’t know how to work through them and seriously considering ending the relationship. I think my main thing is he never wanted the baby and he got exactly what he wanted… I think I understand it wasn’t his fault but he wasn’t caring or anything after it happened… Would love to hear from any mums who have experience something similar?

Posted by anon, 18/08/13
  1. ozstarlett

    July 21, 2014 at 8:13 am,

    MoM Rewards: ozstarlett has a diamond MoM rewards level ozstarlett said:

    I think you definetly need to consider the relationship for the sake of yourself and your children. If you are in different minds about having kids and you feel you can’t work through the problems together it needs to be considered if it is the right environment for your kids. It sounds like you need counselling to come to terms with the miscarriage. I would talk to your doctor and get a referral to someone who can help you work through the process of grieving and help you make a decision about the relationship.


  2. Happymum-2

    May 21, 2014 at 10:13 am,

    MoM Rewards: Happymum-2 has a diamond MoM rewards level Happymum-2 said:

    you need to talk your feelings out to someone


  3. eenimeeni

    May 08, 2014 at 9:12 pm,

    MoM Rewards: eenimeeni has a emerald MoM rewards level eenimeeni said:

    The loss of a child is a huge thing to go through and no matter how much you try and be rational, there is always the what if. If it’s affecting your relationship, I hope you’ve been able to talk openly with your partner about it, or engaged a counsellor to help you sort out your issues over losing a child and in your relationship.


  4. May 02, 2014 at 12:40 pm,

    MoM Rewards: christial has a diamond MoM rewards level christial said:

    Having a baby is a huge thing and if he didn’t want the baby then maybe he should’ve been more careful? He obviously agreed to having sex..!


  5. mummy liana

    March 27, 2014 at 9:16 pm,

    MoM Rewards: mummy liana has a diamond MoM rewards level mummy liana said:

    that is sad to hear im sorry for your loss


  6. snoopy

    January 29, 2014 at 8:39 pm,

    MoM Rewards: snoopy has a diamond MoM rewards level snoopy said:

    Hope you have been able to better this situation.


  7. ljsalomon

    January 23, 2014 at 9:43 pm,

    MoM Rewards: ljsalomon has a diamond MoM rewards level ljsalomon said:

    I really hope you have manged to work through this.


  8. December 30, 2013 at 2:02 pm,

    MoM Rewards: kathryn has a diamond MoM rewards level kathryn said:

    I believe in being very open in a relationship so I would talk it over with him


  9. December 08, 2013 at 8:45 am,

    MoM Rewards: ljsalomon has a diamond MoM rewards level ljsalomon said:

    How are things with you both now?


  10. nic78

    November 30, 2013 at 8:52 pm,

    MoM Rewards: nic78 has a diamond MoM rewards level nic78 said:

    Perhaps some counselling for you both together & yourself separately may be of assistance? Wishing you all the best


  11. sonja_holness

    November 30, 2013 at 6:06 pm,

    MoM Rewards: sonja_holness has a diamond MoM rewards level sonja_holness said:

    Loosing a baby is a huge thing, if he didn’t want the baby then maybe the relationship isn’t worth continuing.


  12. mggarner

    November 25, 2013 at 10:31 am,

    MoM Rewards: mggarner has a diamond MoM rewards level mggarner said:

    What did you end up doing?


  13. November 22, 2013 at 12:44 pm,

    MoM Rewards: melaniejane_butler has a topaz MoM rewards level melaniejane_butler said:

    seek counseling if you want to save your relationship but if you know in your heart you don’t want to walk away from him and do something for you only time will heal this wound it becomes easier but never goes away…..xxxxx


  14. mggarner

    November 21, 2013 at 10:19 am,

    MoM Rewards: mggarner has a diamond MoM rewards level mggarner said:

    it takes time, give it time and hopefully you will be able to let him touch you


  15. hopefullyheidi

    November 09, 2013 at 11:54 am,

    MoM Rewards: hopefullyheidi has a diamond MoM rewards level hopefullyheidi said:

    I can understand the resentment factor. I think you need to really get this issue out in the open and discuss options of dealing with it. You are quite justified in feeling this way and I would give it time and deal with the emotional side of things first.


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