Hello!

A friend of mine’s daughter works and her parents-in-law mind her bub 2 days a week. Bub was in a good sleeping routine and would simply go off to sleep when put in her crib but for a while now they are having trouble settling her.  Both parents have called in at lunch time to their parents home on a number of occasions and found bub asleep in the car seat capsule, (the grandparents had taken the capsule with bub from the car and placed it on the lounge room floor). After a few weeks of trouble getting bub to sleep the parents asked the grandparents how she sleeps at their home. They were told that she was put into the capsule and driven around the block as this guaranteed a fast drop off to sleep mode. When the parents questioned this and told the grandparents that bub was now expecting this at every sleep including night time they were given the answer: well it worked with you and your sister and you turned out fine, this is our way of raising and we will continue as it suits us better.

Bub is hard to settle and will not peacefully go off to sleep in her crib as she is now used to the capsule and the parents also feel she is not getting a quality sleep in the capsule as well. What can they do or say in this circumstance. Thanks so much in-advance.


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  • im assuming they are not paying the grandparents to mind the baby? if theyre that worried about a routine, they need to get a nanny who is paid to enforce their strict routine. not every grandparent wants to spend all day trying to get a baby off to sleep


  • Sleep is sleep no matter where they get it. Whilst I really dislike the “you turned out fine” response, the grandparents may find this is the only way to get your little one to sleep. This may not necessarily be the reason that your little one is struggling with their normal routine. Look up the Wonder Weeks. She may be going through an unsettled period. Also, sometimes babies just change. As she gets older she will become more alert and curious and may not just want to go to sleep. If you stick with your own routine (not necessarily timewise but order) – bath, PJs, story, lullabies or whatever you choose, that should help let her know what is coming.
    Also, being able to put a baby in her crib and have her “self-settle” is not the be all and end all that society thinks. Having a baby who feels secure in her attachment is. There is nothing wrong with rocking or cuddling your little one to sleep if that is what they need.


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