A mum has asked if she is being unreasonable to refuse to contribute to her friend’s honeymoon fund as part of their wedding gift.

Posting on Mumsnet, a mum has asked if she is being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable contributing to her friend’s honeymoon fund.

The mum says that she would normally choose to buy an alternative gift, but because these are some of her closest friends, there is more pressure to make a contribution even though she believes a honeymoon is a luxury that should be self-funded.

An Awkward Situation

Being such close friends with the bride has made the whole situation more awkward as the mum says she knows their financial position and doesn’t believe they are deserving of help to fund their trip.

“They both earn good money but spend way beyond their means,” she wrote in her post. “She tells me so and will quite happily admit to maxing several credit cards to pay for 1000 pounds plus on gifts, holidays abroad, expensive trips, etc.”

The mum’s post went on to say that she wouldn’t usually contribute to a honeymoon fund when given the option, but is struggling to think of another gift idea.

“I don’t want to fund their honeymoon when they could budget for that themselves,” she said. “They are going away to Europe a week or so after the wedding as part of an elaborate birthday gift but they don’t want that to be the honeymoon as it is not enough apparently.”

No Difference

Comments on the mum’s post said that refusing to contribute to the couple’s preferred gift option was just making things harder than they need to be.

“I think this is a bit judgy,” one comment said. “If you want to get them a present, get them what they want instead of trying to insert your own moral principles into the situation.”

“I don’t get this hate towards having money instead of a physical gift,” another said. “Just put the money you would spend on something they will probably never use into an envelope.”

We have to admit that this mum seems to be putting herself under stress when she really doesn’t need to. While honeymoon funds can feel like just asking for cash, at least you know that your contribution will be put to good use instead of sitting unopened in a box somewhere.

Do you think honeymoon funds are a good idea or a step too far? Let us know in the comments.

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  • If I’m honest I am starting to get a bit funny with cash for weddings gifts too. It not the cash part because cash or gift I’m in two minds whatever they want. Every single wedding I’ve been to has been a destination wedding. I travelled to the UK when I was 7 months pregnant for my girlfriends wedding, I’ve been to 3 interstate weddings since and that’s all within about 12 months. It costs a fortune in flights, accommodation and not to mention having to take time from work holidays. I really don’t think gifts should be expected in these cases. If it’s something local, happy to splash out!


  • I don’t think this is particularly unusual or unreasonable for that matter.


  • Whether it’s labelled a honeymoon fund or a wishing well it’s same same. While I was just grateful for what I got present wise I think as most people live together for some time before getting married they already have what they want for the home so $’s become the preferred option.


  • Giving money is very common these days so I’m not sure what the problem is. It’s not like it’s an unusual request.


  • Just put the money you would have spent on a gift into the honeymoon fund. Solved.


  • Up to the couple to decide how they want to spend their gifts, they can ask for a money gift towards their honeymoon and their friends can decide whether they want to give to towards that or not.


  • If that’s what they want, why not? Why waste your money on something ‘you’ want to give, rather than something ‘they’ have asked for. I much prefer to know what to buy than waste my time and money and end up with something they will never use!


  • I have no issue with wishing well and honeymoon fund requests.
    I would rather give a couple what they want rather than a gift they do not want.
    Personal judgment should not be an issue when it comes to requests for wedding gifts.


  • Not sure she is a great friend if she doesn’t think they are deserving. It’s not about whether they can afford it or not but rather giving them something they truly want.


  • Well, if that’s what they want and you can decide with how much you want to contribute, that seems fine to me.


  • I don’t mind giving money as a gift. It makes it easier for everyone.


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