I was reflecting on those first precious few weeks of new baby the other day with a friend.  I remembered how I felt on top of the world to be walking with my new baby and toddler to the shops. This was a monumental achievement in the first few weeks of having two kids under the age of 2.  I remember the local community actively noticed that my bump was now a baby in a carrier or stroller.  Having said that one person asked me if I have actually had the baby – at which point I looked down at my ‘wobbly’ bump in utter disbelief!

A lot of people asked after our Little Lady and how she was doing, often followed up with – is she a good baby?  Mmmmm, Let me think about that.

I struggle with this description as the opposite to Good is….Bad.  So was she a good baby?  Yes – because if she wasn’t I would be saying she was a bad baby – which of course she wasn’t!   I also remember not wanting to jinx myself!

So I started using other words to describe newborn behaviour:

  • Amazing
  • Great
  • Fabulous
  • Challenging
  • Tiring
  • the list goes on…

I think what people are really trying to ask is:

  • Does she sleep well
  • Is she feeding
  • Are you sleeping
  • Is she settled
  • Does she cry a lot
  • the list goes on….

And of course she did all of these things…Sometimes she was unsettled, other times she gifted us an 8 hour sleep overnight.  Sometimes she wanted to be cuddled and not go back in her bassinet (grrr) – other times she was so flaked out she has no idea she spent the morning at a cafe, beach and in the car!

So for me, the ‘Good ‘v’ Bad baby’ is language I prefer not to use.

Don’t get me wrong I do not correct people, I just choose to broaden the adjectives and use more positive language!


  • I too remember these first heady days oh too well! What a busy time, over in the blink of an eye

    Reply


  • All babies are good – the ‘bad’ word was only used in our house if what they went to do was harmful to them.

    Reply


  • A couple of weeks ago I saw a photo of a baby boy who is 10 months old. He is big for his age, about the size of the average 15 – 16 month old. His Dad is tall and his Mum is average height. I reckon it would be strange if he was small. Size doesn’t mean everything. Some babies pull themselves up holding onto furniture before they crawl properly.

    Reply


  • I think it’s just that people just want to say something friendly without being too personal. And from my own experience sometimes people just want to get close to a baby. I was on an almost empty train the other week holding my bub and a woman came and sat right next to me. She spent the whole trip smiling and chatting to him. It was lovely.

    Reply


  • your replies are great, kids and adults are neither good or bad, just we have our ups and downs but negatives self confidence drag… We learn from our mistakes hopefully so even that can be viewed positively.

    Reply


  • lol great article.. or should i say terrific? lol

    Reply


  • Its good to watch their milestones tho

    Reply


  • It’s always best to focus on the positives when they are that little as they tend to outweigh the negative anyway!!

    Reply


  • Babies are a wonderful miracle

    Reply


  • It is a strange choice of words

    Reply

  • My favourite response went something like this depending on how the question was put: Yes thanks, so far so good.

    Reply


  • love that you are trying to change things with the power of positive words

    Reply


  • thank you sharing this article good read

    Reply


  • All babies have thier moments

    Reply


  • An interesting read, thanks for the share

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?

No picture uploaded yet
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.

Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just submit?

Write A Rating Just Submit
Join