This mum has had enough of total strangers at the park judging her parenting skills and even her kids.

Dear “Stranger from the park”
F**k off.

Do you know how many times I’ve told a complete stranger to politely F off since having a child.
In the form of a smile and awkward shruggy movement.

Because a stranger’s just asked me;
“What birth control are you on to stop this” or “maybe he just needs more food he’s a big growing boy”.

So many times.
And frankly I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of feeling like I’m not a magical, mammary, mothering, unicorn.
I just wanted to get this off my chest.
Because I’m so quiet about everything else. HA!

So I’m sitting at the park the other day and a woman takes one look at my one year old eating dirt and says
“Oh isn’t she walking yet; that’s odd, and she’s getting dirt inside her mouth”

Now at this point I’m almost positive this women isn’t aware that I’d had a total of 45 minutes sleep in a week , I’d just drank my second cold coffee in 14 minutes and I had managed to get four children out of the house and to the playground clothed.
FU#KING CLOTHED!!!!!!

Because I’m fairly certain if she had of known all of that information she would have just handed me my gold medal and sash and got the f*ck on with her day.

I stared right back at her face and said nothing; I said nothing for so long that she scuttled of awkwardly.

That was probably for the best.
She probably thought I was crazy.
She’d be damn straight; I have six children, and they’re all mine out of my special bits and then I made the brave decision to take four of them out with me in a public place.
Where people could see us.
Alls I’m saying is ;
I would not fight me in a bar.

So here it goes.
Annoying park stranger.
Just to clear things up.
Number one: “ there is nothing “odd” about my daughter not walking”
Number two: “hello complete stranger that has only been sitting here for four seconds and knows nothing about myself or my daughter, how can I help you with your enquiries”
Number three: “she hadn’t eaten yet this morning so dirt seemed better than nothing and I planned to offer her some water to go with her dirt if you just gave me a second; I’m not a complete animal”.

But lastly and honestly;
SHUT UP. Just shhhhhhhh.

Look I get it, your Uncle’s, Sister’s, Aunt’s Daughter has 2 perfect children, who sleep through the night and eat only what they’re told, they are reading novels at five months old while using the potty and are on the wait list for Harvard.
And when you tried to feed them a french fry; they politely decline and asked for tofu.
What f*cking Einstein’s .
Aren’t they so spectacular.
I mean this child is Completely f*cking mythical mind you.
But sure let’s go with your story.

And then you’ve got my children.
I literally was wondering the other day if a boarding kennel would take them if we went on a weekend away; same logistics.

They scream at the shops at some high pitch frequency which makes my face go pink and my pits start to sweat.
They’ve figured out how to take their nappy off and pee into a cup.
But can’t quite figure out how to walk yet.
They like to wake up at approximately 11pm just for a quick “wats happeninnggg” sesh.
And only speak in full sentences when no one is around and make me think that I’m going bat shit crazy.

So. Park stranger.
I just wanted to get something out of the way if I could.
For all of us mums.
Who have tried everything always.
Who don’t need any answers.
And certainly cannot cope with the questions when we’re so sleep deprived we’re not even sure who drove the car to where we were.

NO they are not too cold
NO they are not to hot
Yes they are dry
Yes they are full
NO they are not teething
No they do not have a temperature
No it is not a leap week
No they don’t walk
Yes I’ve tried panadol
Yes we’ve tried control crying
Yes we’ve tried more love
Yes we’ve tried less love
Yes they have enough food
No they don’t have too many naps
YES they are getting enough naps
Yes we’ve taken them to a doctor
No it can’t be fixed.
And we can’t give them back.

But just finally, my answer to all of your questions, always, is; “She’ll be right mate”

Enough is enough.
So this is just a little message.
From us, to you.
Shut up park stranger.
You are not helping anyone.
D*ckhead.

Sincerely.
Krechelle.

This post originally appeared on Eightathome Facebook.

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