On the weekend I took my toddler for her first ever haircut. As I picked up a lock of her baby hair to keep for safe keeping I thought back to all the firsts she had gone through.
People always talk about first steps or first word, but there are many others…
The first time baby sleeps through the night
Note, the BABY will sleep through the night. You? You will wake at 3am in a panic.
Something must be wrong! You lie in bed, contemplating whether to go and check on them but here’s the dilemma. If you do check on them you’ll wake them up, and it will take an age to get them back to sleep. If you don’t check on them you’ll lie awake in worry all night.
And, if you’re breastfeeding, you will then realise your boobs are about to burst so you’ll have to get up to ‘release’ them anyway. Oh, and now you need to pee. Typical.
The first trip to the supermarket
You’ve got both yourself and your baby dressed. You have a grocery list! You’ve even remembered your green reusable shopping bags.
You are feeling pretty damn pleased with yourself.
Until you get to the supermarket and realise you’ve brought your baby in the pram. There’s no way you can also push a trolley so you grab a hand basket and fill it up with the bare essentials, resigning yourself to the fact that you’re going to have to shop every day if you do it like this. It’s time to get into online grocery delivery.
Your first night away from baby
Chances are it’s going to be for a pretty big occasion like a wedding, anniversary or because someone has volunteered(!) to mind them overnight.
It’ll be fun, you say. I get to feel ‘normal’ again, you tell yourself.
Then you’ll spend half the night checking your phone to see if the sitter has called, or have a couple of drinks and end up crying because you miss your child so much.
The first time you realise you didn’t think about them
You’ve got a few hours to yourself, you’re ticking off the errands on your list, you’re getting things done at the office, perhaps you even met a friend for a coffee or had your hair cut for the first time in sixteen months.
Amazing! Now 3,2,1…. There it is. The blind panic when you break concentration from what you’re doing and suddenly think ‘Where is my child?’ It’s okay, you did drop them at daycare, I promise.
The first time YOU have to do something embarrassing for them
There’s a fine line between having a boogie with your child at the weekly community run music class and them demanding you dance with them at Carols by Candlelight.
Or when they desperately want their face painted but only if you have yours done too.
Which is fine… until you run into your boss or ex half an hour later.
The first time THEY embarrass you in public
It might be their first tantrum in the shopping mall, pointing out someone’s disability, weight, hair colour or dress sense. Or a good old fashioned bout of public urination.
One way or another, by about the age of two your child will do mortifying things that you thought only happened in the movies.
What firsts stick in your mind? Let us know in the comments below.