A first-time Mum has opened up about her mother’s refusal to meet her grandson because the gran wasn’t present when he was born.

Posting on popular parenting forum Mumsnet, a first-time mum has revealed that her own mother is refusing to meet her baby because she was not allowed in the delivery room. “Mum hates me because she wasn’t at the birth,” she wrote. We all know childbirth can be a stressful experience, so choosing who to have in the room to support you is one thing we don’t want to be worrying about!

Depriving Her Of The Experience

Telling her side of the story, the mum wrote on Mumsnet, “So I had my little boy in August. In the run-up my mum kept demanding she was at the birth because “I won’t cope” and I need her there (I’m 24 and married). I tried to tell her politely that if I need her I’ll send my husband to pick her up straight away and that I’d be fine.”

Sounds reasonable to us, but shortly after her son’s birth, the mum says she was bombarded with angry messages and that her mother is now refusing to see her grandchild.


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Should I Feel Guilty?

Whilst most of the comments have been supportive of the mum’s decision, some women said they can understand where the grandmother is coming from. “I kind of feel sorry for your Mum,” one wrote. “No disrespect to you but she sounds so disappointed and upset. I can’t blame her to be honest, receiving a text after her grandchild was born is so impersonal.”

So should this Mum feel guilty or do you have the right to control who is present when you give birth? It’s a tough one, but we feel sorry for both of them that they are missing out on what should be a happy time for the whole family.

Do grandparents have a right to be present at the birth of their grandchildren? Let us know in the comments. 


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  • It is the mothers choice who is there or not.

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  • Grandma is a spoilt brat and needs to be kept away as much as possible.

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  • Well she sounds like a great mum, adding stress during an already full on time in her daughter’s life and behaving like a child. No one has a right to be in the delivery room but the birthing mother and whoever she invites. Wish people would stop feeling so entitled to other’s lives.

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  • How old is this Grandmother, she sounds like my 3 year old.
    Seriously, I understand both sides. Yes the grandmother wants to be there, what a fantastic time seeing your child bring their own. Hold into the world. but she also needs to respect her daughters choice.
    I’m glad my mum lives so far away at times because she stresses me out, last thing I would need is her there during the birth.

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  • some people are so entitled! Grow up grandma before the baby does

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  • It’s nice if the grandparents want to be there and the kids want you to be present, but I don’t think grandparents have aright to be at the birth. I only wanted my partner with me

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  • No, grandparents have no rights to be present at the birth of their grandchildren. When your son / daughter leaves home and marries, they have become their own little family unit and it’s logical that the son / daughter naturally turns to their own husband / wife for comfort and support and not to the grandparents. If however the son / daughter invite the grandparents to be there at the birth, they should feel honoured to be there, but they have no rights whatsoever.
    In my opinion the grandparent in this story is like a little child that doesn’t get her way, selfish, manipulative and doesn’t know her place.

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  • How petty can this woman be. It wasn’t her choice to make whether she was wanted there or not

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  • The grandparents should be the first people besides the parents to meet the new baby asap after the birth before other people start visiting. The birth is for the Mum and Dad to bond with their newborn and only have medical staff who may need plenty of space during the process. I very much doubt the new Mum wants her Mum “taking over” and telling her what or what not to do.
    I feel the Grandma is very selfish expecting to share the experience which should be a private time for the new Mum and Dad during the birth (apart from the presence of medical staff). The Grandma would not be qualified to assist in an emergency. She would be more likely to make the situation more dangerous

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  • If you weren’t there for the conception, why would you be there for the birth?!

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  • I had my mum, dad, hubby and sister at my sons birth, BUT I feel it’s the woman’s choice who she wants there, and that people need to respect her wishes. This grandmother I feel is being selfish and she is missing out on meeting her grandson just to prove a point? It’s a bit sad really

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  • Defenitly grandparents should be allowed to attend birth they are part of the family

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