If you’re trying for a baby with limited success, finding out about your friend’s pregnancy can be devastating…
There is no news more exciting than finding out you’re pregnant, but an increasing number of women are hesitant about sharing this incredible experience for fear of hurting their friends who are also trying to conceive. British television presenter Saira Khan has shared her experience, recounting how her fertility struggle made her friend’s pregnancy announcements increasingly hard to bear.
Saira said that things didn’t go to plan when she and her partner Steve decided to try for a family. “I was 34 when we started trying to get pregnant,” Saira said. “It just wasn’t happening…it got to the stage where I saw babies everywhere because it was the one thing I wanted. I couldn’t be happy for people.” Saira said family occasions presented a particular challenge when it came to suppressing her disappointment about her struggle to get pregnant. “I couldn’t go to my family’s house and be around all the children,” she told panellists on UK show Loose Women. “For them, they had the perfect family and we didn’t, and it was so hard.” Saira said that she began to avoid friends and family members who had children, and despite trying to remain positive and upbeat, would be devastated when told of their pregnancies and newborn arrivals.
A Two Way Street
Fellow panellists Colleen Nolan and Jane Moore pointed out that the situation can also be a challenge for expectant mums. “It was hard for me every scan…I felt awkward,” Colleen said of being pregnant with her daughter at the same time that her sister miscarried. “But she told me she was delighted for me, that she wanted her own baby and didn’t resent me.”
Often in the excitement of a pregnancy announcement, issues such as a friend or family member’s infertility can be unintentionally overlooked. If you’re struggling to be a part of the celebrations due to challenges conceiving, be open with the mum-to-be about how you’re feeling – she’ll appreciate your honesty and no doubt understand completely if you’re not up to sitting through a gender reveal party or baby shower right now.
Has your friend’s pregnancy ever caused you pain? Share your story in the comments.
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