Sometimes you might find yourself in a stressed state, unsure of how you got there.
When you can dig deep, and allow a level of honesty and transparency with yourself, you can often find what is at the foundation of this stress. For example, we can often become stressed around making big decisions.
Voices swell around in our head, “What about this? But then what about this?” It’s like two voices arguing over what is right or wrong about a decision.
How do our core beliefs and values impact on your day to day decisions?
Decisions become difficult when you are confused by the expectations of others, or the expectations you place on yourself. The thoughts of shoulds and should nots stem from other’s values and other’s beliefs. You might think about what your partner, parents or boss would expect of you, rather than what is true to who you are. Quite simply decisions are so much more difficult when you are not clear on your own values and those beliefs that are at the core of who you are.
You will find yourself doubting your decisions or unable to make them. Yet, when you are crystal clear on what it is you value most, you can use these beliefs and values like a filter, running your decisions through them. You’ll find that most decisions become easier and habitual. Consequently, you’ll feel less stressed, more aligned and feeling like you’re on the right track.
Finding your values and core beliefs is just one of the ways you can gain more confidence to make decisions.
What can you do when you need to make a difficult decision?
Even if you have considered your values but still find a decision difficult, you can use a simple technique of a pro’s and con’s list. It really does work. Write down all the benefits (pros) of moving ahead with the decision and all the negatives (cons) of moving ahead. Then write down all the pros of NOT moving ahead on the decision, and cons of not moving ahead. By getting all the thoughts out of your head, it gives you a much better perspective. It provides you with the clarity to make a clearer decision.
Remember any decision is valuable.
Ultimately, no decision is a bad one, as great things happen or great lessons are learned.
You may be familiar with the famous poem by American poet, Robert Frost “The Road Less Travelled”. Many people interpret this poem as meaning, my life is better having made the right choice, however some have a different perspective. People interpret the poem as saying, one day, you’ll say that it was this choice, in this moment, to take this particular road that made your life better.
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And that can be true in life too, but in fact, the other interpretation is, that both roads weren’t very different from one another, so my life might have been different if I’d taken the other road, but that too, could have brought me some valuable outcomes.
Sure, we can make the wrong decision sometimes, and we can see them the as bad luck. However, successful people see mistakes as an opportunity to learn. Yes, they will be disappointed, angry even, but they don’t give up. They use that anger or disappointment to channel towards a better life.
Bad luck either destroys you or makes you the person you really are.
It’s your attitude more than anything that creates luck for you in your life.
Find the right guidance.
Especially when decisions revolve around a career or business, it is worth seeking advice from someone who has walked that path before (why didn’t Robert Frost think of that?). Sometimes you know the answer, yet bouncing your thoughts off someone else allows for an outside perspective, especially from someone experienced in that area.
Alternatively, a coach can use tools or methods to assist you through a process. Another helpful solution is finding a group of like-minded people to mastermind with. Perhaps a group of women, mums or enthusiasts in the area you are focused on.
What methods do you use, to assist you in making those difficult decisions? Share with us in the comments.