This mum says she is sick of women bragging about their drug-free births…
A frustrated mum has taken to Mumsnet to ask if a drug-free birth is really any better than choosing to use pain relief. The mum says she has noticed that many women who have a baby without any intervention feel the need to brag about their ‘natural births’, making others feel bad about their own birth experience.
The Best-Laid Plans…
The mum says that despite having a detailed birth plan for her first daughter, things didn’t go to plan. “I was quite relaxed about my birth plan, didn’t want pain relief or anything if I could manage it,” she wrote. “After three days of labour with a back to back baby and not progressing, I had to have an epidural.” Though the experience wasn’t exactly what she imagined, the mum says she was just grateful to have had a happy and healthy baby, but began to notice a disturbing trend on social media that made her feel that she had somehow failed.
“A woman on Facebook announced her babies birth with the line ‘total natural birth, I am a lioness’…am I being unreasonable to think that this is a bit ridiculous?” she wrote. “Do we really need to make people feel bad about how they gave birth? Do you secretly feel better about yourself knowing you’ve done it with no pain relief?”
No Other Option
Some commenters admitted that having a ‘natural’ birth gave them a sense of achievement. “I am (secretly) proud of myself for managing the second time ’round with gas and air,” wrote one mum. “I gave birth to my son with gas an air,” said another. “I have just read previous comments about how only gas and air is good! Yippee! I feel quite smug now.”
Other mums were quick to point out that many women don’t get a choice. “Giving birth is mental however you do it,” one commenter said. “Any woman who does it is entitled to feel proud.” “You can plan as much as you like but no one has any idea what will happen during labour,” said another.
While every mum would love a straight-forward, complication-free experience, nature often has other ideas and no two births are ever the same. We think whatever ensures a happy and safe experience for both mum and bub can only result in a birth story to be proud of!
Did you feel disappointed because you couldn’t have a ‘natural’ birth? Share your story in the comments.