It can be difficult to know when your family is complete, but what if you and your partner don’t agree?

With the nuclear family becoming less and less common, and an increasing number of blended families being created, how to know when your family is complete is more difficult than ever. The decision to have another child is ultimately a mutual one – biology dictates that – but what happens if you and your partner have different ideas about how many children you’d like to have?

A Complex Issue

The decision to have another child is not one based only on the feelings of you and your partner, but can also affected by other factors beyond your control. Financial implications, fertility issues and work commitments are just some of the things that need to be taken into consideration.

If your partner has said they don’t want any more children, the question is then whether you feel that decision is one you could live with says. We all know that relationships are built on compromise and respecting your partner’s feelings, but wanting to have another child isn’t really something you can compromise on. This issue becomes increasingly complex when one person brings children from previous relationships to a new relationship, and may not wish to grow their family any further.

What Is More Important?

For many people, the discussion becomes a tug of war between having another child and their relationship, forcing them to make difficult decisions and sacrifices no matter which option they choose. In these circumstances, counselling can be a great way to gain some clarity, confirm your priorities, and perhaps let go of the possibility of having another child if that is what you choose.

Just remember not to force your partner into something they don’t want either – you don’t want to have to twist their arm to convince them that more kids are a good idea! And if all else fails, perhaps getting a puppy is a happy medium?

Have you and your partner had a disagreement about having another child? Let us know in the comments.

  • I sometimes wish we had just one more child but there were never any arguments. I’m now glad we didn’t because two was the perfect number for us. Plus he hated seeing me upset after yet another miscarriage.


  • Circumstances can change things, it can be hard.


  • I never imagined I’d only have one child but… we went through IVF and my hubby said he did not want to put me through it again. I agreed, but always felt there might still be an option. I’m okay with it now though.


  • I think discussing it before marriage is a good start and then at least you know what the other person thinks and then reassess after you have your first child.


  • I’ll always have the thought of should we have had another but in the end this is what we can handle. I’d rather be a great mum to the kids that I have rather than risking being an struggling mum with one more in the mix.


  • I would have liked another, but DH is happy with our family as it is. It would be unfair on everyone to impose such a huge thing just for my ‘want’ . I’m happy if they are happy.


  • Never had a problem with this issue.


  • Not a disagreement, we talked and we decided that we would let nature decide if we were to have a 3rd, 3years and still nothing, I guess nature knows best at the moment.

    • You never know what happens, nature may decide a bigger age gap.


  • This is a really hard one; someone winds up with regrets no matter what.


  • I wouldn’t have minded a third but my husband wasn’t keen. We stuck with two.


  • My partner and I agreed that we will have one child together if we get to the 3 years together and marriage after 5 years. We already had 2 boys each to our exes. We welcomeda baby girl into our family 6 months ago and she has been the perfect completion to our family!! Now just to wait for him to put a ring on it ????


  • The decision has to be mutual of course, otherwise one of the two will always regret it.
    My husband and I both wanted more kids but luck wasn’t on our side.


  • My husband an I discussed a 3rd and were on board with it for a while, but we both seemed to come to the same decision at the same time. My 2nd pregnancy caused me extreme pain the whole way through and almost 3 yrs later I’m still not fully recovered. We discussed it and realised we couldn’t put me through that again and that I wouldn’t be any good to three children if I was laid up in bed trying to recover from endless pain. All the best to those who are divided. We started off in disagreement, I wanted 4 and my husband wanted 2.


  • No, we didn’t have a disagreement about this.
    I’ve a friend who wanted another child while her husband didn’t. She sneakily skipped the pill and got pregnant !! Not to best way to deal with this.


  • Hard when you can’t agree on what you want


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