Let’s be honest, all those choreographed glimpses into motherhood and the ‘white picket fence’ family life where everyone is smiling and affectionately engaged with each other are total B#$%^ S#*$^!
Can we please throw out those rose coloured glasses, take a giant refreshing breath and address the elephant in the room – being a Mum sucks!
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids – I am a stay home Mum and a ‘good’ mum (not that one precedes the other), but overall this job sucks! Day in, day out it is a screaming nightmare and my life is under constant siege by 3 little monsters that have no other agenda but to eat, destroy and annoy.
I make this declaration and ask you to band together with me to remove the guilt, the silence and sense of failure that seems to come with not loving every minute of motherhood and acknowledge, that in no way does admitting the disappointments of motherhood, mean you love your children any less.
Being stressed and frustrated isn’t a sign of a ‘bad’ mother it is part of the job. In fact, in an odd way, being stressed and frustrated is a sign that you’re doing things right – if I did away with the cooking, the cleaning, the pick-ups and drop offs, that are part and parcel of daily mothering, the majority of my stress would be gone!
It is hard work being completely selfless enough to care for another little life that is utterly unaware and unappreciative of the efforts you are going to, to keep them safe, happy and healthy.
I make this vow and give myself permission to love my children regardless if I don’t love every minute of motherhood:
- I am not a perfect mother, but I will try my best.
- I will admit when I am wrong – when your rooms are tidy and I get 10 minutes peace and quiet.
- I will work tirelessly and no doubt get nothing but complaints in return – that’s ok, I’ll eat chocolate when you’re in bed.
- I will love my children unconditionally, but if they leave their dirty clothes next to the hamper again I will scream.
- I will support and encourage my children to pursue their talents and passions – so they better be ready to leave for practice on time.
- I will be there for my children no matter what – or at least no more than 10mins late.
- I will not harbour and guilt or resentment towards my children, but take great joy in vacuuming up the lego that is still on the floor.
- And just as my mother did, I will look forward to the day you have your own children, so I can come to visit, cause pure chaos and know, you finally understand how I feel.