September 5, 2013

Let’s be honest, all those choreographed glimpses into motherhood and the ‘white picket fence’ family life where everyone is smiling and affectionately engaged with each other are total B#$%^ S#*$^!

Can we please throw out those rose coloured glasses, take a giant refreshing breath and address the elephant in the room – being a Mum sucks!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids – I am a stay home Mum and a ‘good’ mum (not that one precedes the other), but overall this job sucks! Day in, day out it is a screaming nightmare and my life is under constant siege by 3 little monsters that have no other agenda but to eat, destroy and annoy. 





I make this declaration and ask you to band together with me to remove the guilt, the silence and sense of failure that seems to come with not loving every minute of motherhood and acknowledge, that in no way does admitting the disappointments of motherhood, mean you love your children any less.

Being stressed and frustrated isn’t a sign of a ‘bad’ mother it is part of the job. In fact, in an odd way, being stressed and frustrated is a sign that you’re doing things right – if I did away with the cooking, the cleaning, the pick-ups and drop offs, that are part and parcel of daily mothering, the majority of my stress would be gone!





It is hard work being completely selfless enough to care for another little life that is utterly unaware and unappreciative of the efforts you are going to, to keep them safe, happy and healthy.

I make this vow and give myself permission to love my children regardless if I don’t love every minute of motherhood:

  • I am not a perfect mother, but I will try my best.
  • I will admit when I am wrong – when your rooms are tidy and I get 10 minutes peace and quiet.
  • I will work tirelessly and no doubt get nothing but complaints in return – that’s ok, I’ll eat chocolate when you’re in bed.
  • I will love my children unconditionally, but if they leave their dirty clothes next to the hamper again I will scream.
  • I will support and encourage my children to pursue their talents and passions – so they better be ready to leave for practice on time.
  • I will be there for my children no matter what – or at least no more than 10mins late.
  • I will not harbour and guilt or resentment towards my children, but take great joy in vacuuming up the lego that is still on the floor.
  • And just as my mother did, I will look forward to the day you have your own children, so I can come to visit, cause pure chaos and know, you finally understand how I feel.


  • I disagree. Motherhood for me, the positives always outweigh the negatives. I love being a mum

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  • Its not all sunshine and roses ….in fact some days it rains all day and if you ever receive roses then you are darn lucky.
    But…even so there is no other job that i would rather have then the one of being Mum.

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  • Yeah, there are BS moments when being a mum but they’re far outweighed by the wonderful magic of having kids

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  • I am doing this second time round with my Grandchildren and know the feelings well but what saved me was when I realised you could love your children totally but you aren’t always going to like them and their reactions to you.Itrealeased a lot of that guilt you give yourself to deal with

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  • lol Really interesting article! Thanks for sharing this!

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  • couldn’t agree more. I love my kids, but they drive me banana\’s too.

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  • I loved being a mum and was a stay-at-home Mum with 5 children (all born in 7 years).
    I loved working with them, playing with them, cooking for them and helping them grow to maturity. Today I have 5 beautiful adults, all doing great things for their families and for their communities and I share the joy of loving our 13 incredible grandchildren. Yes, sometimes I was stretched but I woke nearly everyday in joy, looking forward to being a wife and Mum. Never underestimate the wonderful job you are doing.

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  • Haha love this then try doing it while working and as a sole parent providing also it’s exhausting but do it for them also one day my 3 will hopefully see and love me all the more for it

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  • Yes yes yes! the mothers who pretend it’s all sunshine & lollipops make me gag

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  • Thank you for explaining motherhood with such refreshing honesty. It really does suck 90% of the time!

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  • Lol. I love this. It is so true.

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  • The part that sucks is when my 7 month old screams the house down despite being perfectly fine, waking up not long after being put to sleep and making sure I get none and thinking my face is a perfectly acceptable thing to beat the crap out of. Apart from that, I love being a mum, I had been waiting 6 years for the opportunity and although it’s hard and so frustrating I want to throw something- I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

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  • I love this article – it is all so true & I am proud to be one of the mothers who loves her child but agrees that motherhood can well & truly suck. I am also so looking forward to the last one of the vows :)

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  • Here Here! well done for having the courage to write this article! I too love my children dearly but some days I want to scream! There are only so many blocks you can pick up or arguments you can defuse and times to put your toddler back to bed each night!
    I have secret satisfaction in sucking up the odd piece of lego or eating the last biscuit when the kids are asleep! lol
    It’s a thankless job, BUT I wouldn’t change being a mummy for anything!!!!

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  • Love this! This is how I feel most days!

    Reply

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