One mum shares her worst nightmare and asks for help to get past the fear of letting her kids outside ever again.

One of our MoM’s has shared with us how her four-year-old son ran across a driveway next to their home and mere seconds later a car drove out of the driveway.

She explains, “Last night I was having all these horrific visions of what may have happened if my boy had crossed a few seconds later…I still feel sick because of it! I want to hold on to my kids’ hands and never let go! How do I get over these feelings?”

MoM’s advice

Our loving community has offered some great advice to help us not bundle the kids in cotton wool and learn to live with mummy anxiety.

Kristine said, “Sounds like shock, it will pass eventually, if you find yourself compulsively diving into an abys of negative thoughts then you might want to learn to meditate , get the mindfulness app its all brain training.”

Caitlin shared, “I recently read a study about parental (particularly mum) anxiety, and the information in it was so helpful! I thought there was something wrong with me because I constantly have these freak outs about crazy situations, some real, some imaginary. Anyway, the main thing I took away from it, is that it is totally normal to feel this anxiety! It’s your brains way of helping you keep your babies safe. It makes you aware of things that could possibly happen. This is doubles when something really bad almost happens. What ISN’T ok is if this fear starts to rule your life and stop you from doing things or letting your kids do things. A bad thing almost happened mumma, it’s totally normal to be freaking out for a while. But, remind yourself he is ok, it will fade, it will settle, just in time for them to do something else to make you freak out! May I also add, the fact you are worrying shows that you are a great mum!”

Bianca said, “You don’t. But you do teach them as best you can. My children aren’t allowed to step into the garage without permission. When we cross a road or car park we go through a process “stopping. Looking left. Looking right. (If it’s a junction I will even say) looking in front . Looking behind. Any cars coming?“ I wait for their answer first yes or no “is it safe to cross?” Some times they say yes even though a car is coming so I point out the car. When out for walks I constantly remind them that cars can come in and out of a driveway without seeing you. So if there’s a car in the driveway we stop to see if it is moving or switched on etc. the kids are now preety pretty good at it.”

Catherine shared with us, “Intrusive thoughts and anxiety are normal after any trauma (and that shock is a traumatic event). They should fade in a short while but if they don’t please see your GP and ask for access to a psychologist. Putting in place preventative strategies for next time may help calm you but may not. Be kind to yourself and remind yourself the worst did not happen and the world did not become more dangerous because of this event.”

Kirsty said, “Teach your children to be aware of their surroundings.Always. easier said than done….it means sounding like a cracked record EVERY time you go anywhere…but I think totally worth it. If you feel you can trust them it may take away some anxiety. It does not mean nothing can happen I know of a situation where older children were gravely affected. but education is the best chance and from as young as crawling/walking age.”

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Dealing with mummy anxiety

New research released has revealed that two-thirds of Australians surveyed are affected by mild anxiety.

Symptoms of mild anxiety may include:
feeling restless,
easily tired,
irritable,
experiencing muscle pain,
disturbed sleep,
difficulty concentrating and
finding it difficult to stop worrying.

Family-related issues are one of the biggest triggers of symptoms related to mild anxiety. Research has found that dealing with family-related issues or situations are the number one trigger of mild anxiety related symptoms for Australians, and this is especially true for females.

How Many People Combat Anxiety
Most commonly people have tried to sleep for at least seven – eight hours per night (68%), increased their exercise (64%) or sought relaxation practices (54%).

Share your comments below.

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  • It will pass. You are still processing and basing your thoughts on fear. Use it as a teaching moment… for both you and your child. To teach them to look, listen, etc. in the hope it will never happen again. You now have an awareness that you didn’t before.

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  • This feeling of wanting to wrap him in cotton wool will pass but you will never stop worrying about him. It’s what we do.

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  • You do your best to teach them to look at what is happening around them – just maybe her little boy had seen the car parked in the driveway, and it started to drive out after he had dashed across – we won’t know but if you have taught your children all the rules, then there should be no need for guilty feelings.

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  • It’s so easy to think of all the what if’s but as long as you keep them safe to the best of your abilities

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  • I think being a mum particularly first time you do get an overwhelming sence of responsibility for this little person and you do the best you can to protect them, however if it is preventing you from doing your normal routines and activities then sometimes some intervention of a doctor who may refer you to a councilor or psychologist who you can talk may help you to get back on track and help you overcome this overwhelming sence of responsibility.

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  • My daughter with Down syndrome escaped the house last year (she was then 4yrs old) and was found on the middle of a 4lane road at 5pm !! Police was involved. She is 5yrs now, has no danger awareness or stranger awareness, is non verbal and moderate developmental delayed.
    We keep our doors locked.
    I shared an info leaflet about her in the neighbourhood, so everyone can look out for her. I’m not afraid anymore, but my heart was certainly beating out of my chest back then. It’s a point of attention always.

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  • I always fear the worst and my heart panics whenever I feel uneasy about her doing something adventurous

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  • I don’t know where Bianca lives. In Aust. we look to the right before we look to the left…..unless the rules have changed and I haven’t heard about it. The car coming from your right will reach you before the one coming from the left.

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  • I was terrible at this with my first child but totally loosened the reins with my second.

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