My son has started to develop an attitude and is just being argumentative in general. Is this just a ‘stage’ he’s going through? I was thinking he might be trying to assert his independence or trying to find his own feet- any ideas?


Posted by mom57741, 27th May 2014


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  • At my house if I cop a tone or argument. I stop because it takes two to argue. I say Enough is enough and I’m in charge. And walk away.



  • yes it is a stage i’m experiencing too! they have a big mental leap and want to know everything, learning who and how to trust so by argueing and prodding, it is like they are testing to see if you know what you are talking about.

    And i agree that this is a great opportunity to show how you can have an opinion and voice it in a calm and respectful manner



  • i think it probably is a stage, i would just keep an eye on it and see where he is picking it up from



  • it could be as you said a stage, but ensure he knows it is not appropriate to be rude. Fine and good to have an individual opinion but share it with consideration for others in a nice way not an aggressive way. It can be a very useful life skill to have.



  • I always think that kids are like a pendulum. They’re are constantly swinging towards or away from us – wanting to get closer, or assert their independence.

    Having said that, they do need to know how to be independent in an appropriate way.

    I have noticed a strong correlation between what my children watch on TV and how they behave. If they’re watching stuff with attitude, they have more attitude. So that’s one thing to consider.

    Also, have a think about any other influences are in his life. Who’s he spending time with (kids and adults)? What influences does he have in his life?

    My eldest daughter (now 9) does this sort of thing. Sometimes it’s TV, or friends or whatever. I’ve recently discovered that I can defuse some of her aggression if I respond early on with kindness and love. It’s counter intuitive, but when she starts to get defensive, or aggressive I sometimes just walk over and give her a hug, and ask her what’s going on. Whereas, if I respond in anger, we just end up arguing – which is not helpful!

    I hope this help.


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