Our son is generally well behaved – we believe in discipline and following through with threats (ie if you do that again we will take your leap pad off you for three days – just an example) we also use time out which we find effective. The problem is his grandmother looks after him one day a week and up until one month ago he has been so good. However, he has now turned into a moster lashing out at her, not listening and won’t do as he is told. I am at a lost on what we can do. We tried taking his favourite toy away from him for one week and if he was good for her the following week he could get it back – however this was a big FAIL and made no difference at all. I am beginning to think that he knows he has no boundaries with her and this has resulted in the terrible behaviour.
I am very anxious and stressed about the situation.
It is worthing noting he goes to daycare three days a week and preschool one day a week.
Does anybody have any suggestions on what else we can try or why the sudden change in his behaviour?


Posted anonymously, 27th May 2014


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  • I hope you were able to find a solution.



  • I think there is a genuine reason for everything and your child feels confused or misunderstood. He is upset about something and if he goes to 3 different places all telling him different , he will be stressed and confused . Are they all teaching him the same way that matches your discipline ? Sit him down and talk to him . Maybe ask daycare as well as normally carers are really good with children and know them well.



  • This is a hard one…. Listen to your child first, what does he say? Maybe there is someone there or something there that triggers or scares him? Another thing, maybe he needs words like my son did – here’s an example: “Nick, when the big hand is on the twelve, I am going to ask you to pack up your toys” I don’t know why it worked, but it did. The other thing I was told is to make it the child’s problem (triple P course). Google this, it is interesting.



  • Time to sit down with Fran and place some boundaries in but making sure they are ones she can stick to



  • Gran needs to set some boundaries here and be firm and stick with them!



  • His grandmother needs to set the boundaries so he learns that her home is an extension of your home and he should act accordingly. I really hope you’ve gotten through this and that you’re having a better time with your boy!



  • Is it just with his grandmother that it occurs? Maybe even if it is don’t treat him any different there but keep consistency across the board – all carers. Stay strong and consistent. if you give in once he will keep pushing the boundaries seeing if this is that time you give in. We found punishment by withdrawing things didn’t work. we focused on recognising and rewarding positive behaviour immediately. Not giving extra attention for poor behaviour



  • It sounds like his Grandmother needs to reassess how she handles things, she needs to do it at the time and not you later when they have forgotten all about it


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