We had organised a Secret Santa party for the girls (nearly 4 year old twins), and invited some of the children from child care that they like. We are only new to the area. My trusty old friends are coming. The problem is none of the children invited from the child care centre are coming. One of the twins is so excited. What do I tell her, without breaking her little heart? Thanks.


Posted anonymously, 12th December 2013


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  • Tell her they already had another Xmas party to go to with their family that they couldn’t miss



  • That’s disgusting



  • If you have other friends coming I don’t think at this age they will notice that their new friends are not there. They will be busy at the party having a good time.



  • I’d just explain that this is a very busy time of year for everyone and the other children already had plans.



  • I think saying there mummy’s were really busy is good ,as then there more likely not to question it when they see the kids again



  • This is hard as to lie is teaching bad behaviour as when the twins go back and you said they had to do something particular their is a goodchance they will findout.Have you spoken to any of the other childrens parents about this as I know how hard it is when you move you have to be accepted but on the brightside the party is still going ahead so it couldve been worse just make it aday to remember :-)



  • It is hard at that age as they don’t understand. I agree with trying to organise a play date with a couple of them in the New Year. Maybe take them to a play centre instead where they can play with other kids.



  • That is so disappointing that not one of those children from child care are coming. I would change centres if it as me. and just explain that they are on holidays and that is why they cant make it or their mummies are working and cant bring them



  • You could tell them that they were busy and wont be coming this year, but that there is always next year to look forward to and this year will be special because it is for close friends and maybe invite some more family to make it more of a personal event. Such a delicate age, I wish you the best!



  • You could say to the twin girls that maybe their little friends can come over another day for a play date just after Christmas instead! Make a big fuss about it and have a big smile! Try and see if you can organize it early so it’s a definate date that will happen :D Then the girls will have something besides Christmas to look forward too!



  • i mean its a little white lie :)



  • i normally dont agree with lying but i think at this age they are too little to understand. So maybe tell her they had to go to see their nan or pop or something that they will understand. and just continue promoting the other kids who are coming and talking about how much fun they will have etc


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