I am seperated from my 3 year old daughter’s father who is a drinker and gambler but denies a problem. He never has the money to help raise his daughter, making up lies why he doesn’t have any. 2 years I have heard these stories and am getting fed up with his lies and lack of financial help. I can not afford to take him to court and he ignores letters from Child Maintenance Dept. What do I do? Can I just refuse to let him see his daughter until he starts paying me and helping out? He see’s her once a fortnight over the weekend? Love to hear your advice.


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  • I would first of all seek the advice and support from the Child Maintenance Department and CentreLink. It might be good to seek legal advice as well. Free Legal Aid is possible when you have financial problems. When you think your child is not safe with him, you could report him by Facs/child protection.
    Another thought is when he spends every fortnight with your daughter he likely forms a bond and might on a certain point feel motivated to help with the payments.



  • You could try it, but I really think you should get legal advice first.



  • I guess, if you think it’s best for your daughter, you could try it. He might realise he wants to see her and will start helping financially if he thinks he won’t be able to see her



  • I would stop visits, not sure how your daughter would deal with that tho. He seems like someone she doesn’t need in her life, he doesn’t put in any effort, she may not miss him for long if you stopped the visits. So sad, parents don’t realise how their life decisions affect the kids, no matter how old they are



  • Such a terrible circumstance for you. If you think it’s dangerous for your child to see him, seek legal advice.



  • Joint custody is not easy. Especially in ur situation. I feel for u :(



  • Legally I don’t think u can but sounds as though he is not interested.



  • Hope things work out Can you get legal advice



  • are the courts involved ? cause they may not give you a choice.



  • It does sound like quite a worrying situation.



  • I think if you refuse him the right to see his daughter then it’ll end up looking bad on your part. I’d suggest getting some legal advice, and possibly only have supervised visits. I wouldn’t leave my child in the hands of a suspected alcoholic.



  • I would worry about this. Have a chat to a lawyer and see if they can help you.



  • Child maintenance department should be following up on your behalf when he ignores their letters. Speak to them and see what more they can do for you. Also speak to someone at Centrelink.



  • i know it sounds cliche but despite what he does and doesn’t do he’s her father, and if she’s not in any harm while in his care and she’s still happy to be spending time with him I would encourage it as much as you can. Yeah it sucks that he doesn’t help financially and unfortunately that’s just the way it goes. I would continue on your way without having any expectations from him as hard as it may be having to do it on your own. Hope it all works out. Best of luck with it.



  • Can you seek help from legal aid? they will be able to point you to the right way to get things done


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