Hello!

As an older mother and having used controlled crying on my own 6 children ranging from toddler to adults. I would like to know is this method no considered outdated. Controlled crying for those that do not know it is letting your child cry and then check on them, make sure they are ok, do not pick up and then add another minute to the next time and repeat, so a longer time waiting each time. My daughter in law says this is harmful to the baby, I suggested she do this with my grand daughter as she can not get her to sleep or to be left on her own i.e put her down so she can do something. Just wondering if this is now considered wrong for children. My grand daughter is 5 months old and I watched on Saturday as mummy spent 6 hours trying to get an over tired child to sleep.


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  • I think that sometimes controlled crying is needed. A baby cries to express its emotions and needs. A baby will also learn very quickly that if they cry, the parent will arrive every time and this may continue as they grow from infant to toddler, to child. I think it’s important to have a balance of controlled crying, and being soothed by the parent. Infants and children need to learn ways to deal with being on their own at times and learn ways to soothe without other people.


  • A policy statement on controlled crying issued by the Australian Association of Infant Mental Health (AAIMHI) advises, “Controlled crying is not consistent with what infants need for their optimal emotional and psychological health, and may have unintended negative consequences.”
    https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/guest/pinky_mckay.html


  • There are a lot of factors to consider ensuring the child isn’t hungry too hot too cold. Etc. But do I think it’s out dated… no.


  • Personally I don’t believe in it.


  • it’s not outdated, and if you go to many of the sleep schools, this is exactly what they do.


  • I think it’s worth a try for a five month old.


  • I recently found out that when babies continue crying they gasp in air and that increases discomfort. You need to put babies down before they get too tired. Don’t excite them before putting them to bed and make them too alert.


  • I think kids are especially needy now as they are bought up in care – no judgement I assure you, but that’s my thoughts…. My son is 23 and his mates that have kids are really not spending much time with parents – parents are too busy with home loans, car loans, credit cards and the stresses of it all, the kids sorta miss out x


  • I did a similar controlled crying with my girl when she was about 10 or 11 months old. I would always double check if she needed a new nappy or food if she was crying/ grizzling. If she got really worked up I would pick her up, calm her and try again.

    It worked for my girl and she started sleeping through without a feed after a couple of nights. I can’t say that I have seen any negatives side effects.

    I guess it depends on the child and parent.


  • It is now not recommemded but many mums do it out off desperation


  • We used Tizzie Halls Save our Sleep and loved it. We started with our first born when he was 1, that was the hardest. then with our next children we started when they were born and never had a problem. IT was a great way to ensure bubs and mum both had a decent sleep which I think is so very very important and totally undervalued.


  • i couldn’t do this as i thought that my child is trying to let me know that they want me for comfort and that broke my heart


  • I co-slept with my children. If they slept during the day, it was usually in the lounge room so they could know where I was if they woke up, and I had no issues getting them to sleep.

    My friend does controlled crying methods, however she always has a hard time getting her children to sleep when they were babies/toddlers, and still now. They even have a strict routine for meals, play & sleep.

    Each to the own really, I have no issue with those that control crying methods, and strict routines, however I never had any issues with my own children – like those that use those methods.


  • sounds like me! im sure its still practised and takes time for baby and mum to get used to. I think after 6 months is ok. im hoping to try something like this soon. its so hard emotionally though.


  • I’m interested in this question too. I tried it with my first, with limited success. With my second tried it, she vomited all over the cot and never did it again. I don’t think I would use the technique again, if I had my time over.


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