I’m trying to find ways to teach my son and daughter they need to behave before receiving awards. Do behaviour charts actually work?


Posted by mummywif5, 2nd March 2015


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  • I believe in ignoring negative behaviour and affirmation/rewarding of positive behaviour. I’ve never used a chart as such, only a star chart for toilet training with my eldest.



  • I think charts work if they are done consistently, aren’t too easy or too hard and the child can’t cheat (by adding their own mark/sticker etc.)… But the idea of “behave before receiving awards” implies that they have understood the award/treat but not yet the behaviour or what they have to do to get the award. Maybe explain that and try and shift focus to what you want them to do, and this chart is going to help them etc. so they think in terms of behaviour, not the treats (which ends up like bribery!)



  • yes, they have worked for my son. He was about 3 when we first used them. Start simple like 10 steps to reach a goal (whether its a new toy or trip to a special park or whatever works for your child). Each of the 10 steps, my child would get a star to stick on his chart if he achieved the goal. We have used it for many reasons and always display the charts in his room. He still loves looking at them now (he\’s nearly 5).



  • yes put on fridge and when good done give them a star,10 star gets a treat. My older son was a bit! of handful and at school too ,they did card for each day and if he had been good got star on card to bring home.. it worked I think he liked the attention.. my son now with is son… we both survived . hope helps



  • I know one family who were using the chores done for pocket money as a reward. She stopped doing her chores so no pocket money for rewards now. If she helped with the chores it also gave them more time for bike rides to the playground etc.



  • Thank you all for taking the time to answer my question



  • They worked for me for things like potty training.
    But I was never keen on using them for ‘being good’ ….When ever I would get my kids something I would always say “Because have been so good lately you deserve a treat”….they never knew when that treat may come. I also used that to my advantage and on an occasion where they had been acting up I would simply say “what a shame…I was going to get you a treat today but now i cant because you have been misbehaving”

    You must make sure that you stick to your guns and dont give stickers or treats when the kids havent really been behaving.



  • It depends on their ages. Absolutely not for my 4 and 3 y.o. They need immediacy of response from the parent/teacher. No need to give them rewards. They should just be reminded to modify their behaviour without an expectation of something in return. My 4 y.o. in kindy has come home and cried for an hour because she didn’t get the top level of behavioural chart at the end of the day. When I asked her about what ‘good choices’ and ‘poor choices’ (teacher’s phrases) she had no idea and couldn’t tell me. When I asked her what others did well, she couldn’t tell me that either. She confidently told me about being put in the quiet chair and what caused that – but not some chart for the whole day. I believe in immediacy, no charts, and no rewards. My children’s behaviour is normal of a high standard, or so people tell me.



  • It depends on their ages. Absolutely not for my 4 and 3 y.o. They need immediacy of response from the parent/teacher. No need to give them rewards. They should just be reminded to modify their behaviour without an expectation of something in return. My 4 y.o. in kindy has come home and cried for an hour because she didn\’t get the top level of behavioural chart at the end of the day. When I asked her about what \’good choices\’ and \’poor choices\’ (teacher\’s phrases) she had no idea and couldn\’t tell me. When I asked her what others did well, she couldn\’t tell me that either. She confidently told me about being put in the quiet chair and what caused that – but not some chart for the whole day. I believe in immediacy, no charts, and no rewards. My children\’s behaviour is normal of a high standard, or so people tell me.



  • My daughter is too young for them but I have friends with kids who use them and said thay they work if you stick to it.



  • I think so as long as you are consistent and organised with it and as long as your child is excited by it.
    You need to make sure the child (depending on age)
    gets to be involved with it, choosing their jobs or their rewards
    and lots of praise helps too



  • Rewards and chore charts do indeed work as long as parents are consistent in the implementation of the rewards and chore charts. This means no changing the rules and always following through with all promises as children will lose interest if you do not follow through or move the ‘goal post’.



  • yeah they can work but it is up to you! they also have to be interested in the rewards as well. we used them but they would just earn too quickly so we would just say be good all week and we will go to the beach etc on the weekend



  • I believe the best behaviour modification system is positive reinforcement. Everytime your child behaves give them a cuddle and verbal praise, play a short game or dance with them. It takes a while to see results so you have to be patient but it works very well for most age groups. Then you can use the points system for chores and pocket money. Good luck!



  • One way is points system for chores done, but if there is bad behaviour they lose points. They have to get to a determined number each week to get their reward. Bear in mind that you can’t punsih one child for the wrong done by another.


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