My daughter is turning 1 soon and we are having a birthday party to celebrate. Usually with parties I ask people to not bring a gift but instead to just write a nice message in a card. In the past this hasn’t worked and we have way way way more toys than I would like. I really don’t want anymore toys and we have hundreds of books so would actually prefer no more at this stage because we also enjoy spending time at the library. How do I politely get the message across to not buy her any toys?


Posted by MrsA, 17th May 2019


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  • As an intro, with 3 girls under 4, this is us! I am personally trying to Learn to ask for specifics or categories, for things they need. Things like Arts and crafts for example. Its broad enough they can chose what to buy and will get used as they grow. Clothes is another good one (size bigger). People want to buy, so give in (so to speak) but on your terms?



  • I would ask for instead of presents to put some money in a card to go towards a big birthday present (a day out) or to put in their bank account.



  • Do a $5 party .. people only give $5 in a card and this can go towards an experience for bub instead of toys. That way people still feel like they are giving and everyone can afford it and you don’t get a toy overload !



  • ask them to make a donation to a charity politely or say any donated presents will be forwarded to the local womens refuge or childrens charity



  • Choose your favorite charity.
    Ask the guests to instead of buy a gift to make a small donation.



  • Yes agree with others – state we appreciate the thought but please no gifts as our daughter has been lucky enough to have more toys/books etc than we can use.
    I suggest giving another option such as putting money towards a bigger thing such as swimming lessons, dance etc, or a pass for zoo or annual pass for anything in your area you’d use, or towards a bank account for their future or saying you have a ‘major’ item you’d like to get and if the guests feel they’d still like to give then some money towards this ‘item’ (whatever it is) would be appreciated. But yes some people do like to bring gifts no matter what. But with a bigger item or classes or a pass then I think they’re more likely to contribute and still feel as tho they’re giving a gift.



  • I agree with becstalou (first comment) maybe suggest a charity donation instead. Or possibly send out a list of things that they could get your child instead of toys with the invitation.



  • Give them another ootion. Say child’s name has more than they need so please don’t bring any gifts, if you would really like to get them something please make a donation to (insert favourite charity here) in child’s name.



  • People just like to give and I think you should let them, it’s an expression of love. Maybe write on the invite for the party to give money for a special gift like swimming lessons or a membership for the zoo.



  • Maybe ask people if they want to give a gift give a gift of money so that you can save it for them or put it in their own bank account. I did this for my children as I found I was getting too many toys as well and a lot of people reacted quite well to it. And saying that we still got toys and things like that but nowhere near as much.



  • I would keep saying that you don’t want presents, and then say why you don’t want them – eg we have too many toys so we’re just going to give them to charity.



  • If you’ve tried asking for no presents in the past and it hasn’t worked, I can’t see it working this fine either. You could always donate them to a charity, lots of kids out there who would appreciate new toys



  • I don’t know if people would be offended if you wrote “no toys please” or not. It might be OK if you given educational toys suitable for an older age but I don’t think people would appreciate that either. I know a little girl who is “advanced” She is doing puzzles etc that children 1.5 – 2 years older are doing. Hopefully people will ask what you need for your 1 y.o. I know on deserted Mum who when asked suggested clothing – it didn’t matter if it was a size bigger than the child who was growing quickly anyway,


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