“Can you please post of your wall to other mummies… Has anyone had a friend stop contact because you were pregnant when they were also trying? Do you think it’s best to try and reach out or just give them space? Any advice would be great because it really has me down!”

Posted by anon, 23/05/2013

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  • I fell pregnant with my second not long after my sister miscarried her first. It was uncomfortable for a while and I kept my excitement under wraps for a while. But no, I’ve never had anyone do this. I don’t have any friends, maybe that’s why



  • Sadly people change. Remember the days at school , when friends compare each other , Who had better clothes, marks, then the boyfriend( s) may interfere with friendships etc.. It is still hard when adults because it might be painful for her to see you especially if comparing with themselves etc. She will contact you if/when she is ready , in the meantime , look after yourself .



  • It is very hard.
    I lost a friend when we fell pregnant at the same time & sadly she lost her baby.
    We’ve never spoken again. I respected it it would have been very hard for her to be around me but it was not something I could control. I do miss her though!
    The thing you need to remember is this is a very special time for you. You are supposed to enjoy this time not be miserable! Your friend will come to you if & when they are ready, but don’t let it get you down! This is such an exciting time for you!
    Enjoy it, the next 9 or so months will go very quickly!



  • Just let them be it is their issue not yours … when they are ready they will come back.



  • Yes, it was so awful but when she fell pregnant aid felt she wanted to be best friends again. I’d give her space and let her come to you when she’s ready.



  • Yes I lost a friend when I fell accidentally pregnant – she was upset with me because she had been trying for a long time



  • I defnitely made more friends with other mums. But i also had a friend who actually told me that I became more boring after I gave birth and I don’t have fun anymore. Although he doesn’t really get the idea of being a mum and he thinks the world spins around him… ><



  • I absolutely had friendships change but life is all about evolving as a person and meeting new friends along the way.



  • How did it all go with your friend in the end?



  • Yep it is usually the ones that have never had kids, in the end I felt I didn’t want to impose on them and that I just didn’t fit into their busy lives-even though I was pretty busy too. I have kept my close true friends though, they stuck around.



  • I hope you worked out something



  • i was 20 wen i had my bubs & i noticed a big change in friends mainly the ones that didnt havekids i suppose u can always tell who your friends are



  • Yes I have. I had my first at 19 & by the time I was 22 I had 3 so my friends back then had a different lifestyle. I have made many new ones & so will you. In fact you will meet a who.e new group of people when you become a mum.



  • If it’s a close friend just send them a message now and again you miss them/ think of them. It must be too painful to see you pregnant right now, as she doesn’t want to be jealous but is. I had this happen a few times, I told them it wasn’t easy to fall pregnant ( although it was) and I truly did pray to the heavens and ask a spirit to choose me to be their Mummy. It is a touchy subject but don’t feel guilty you are having a baby.



  • I lost a friend while I was trying to conceive my daughter, I think it is natural that some people may need space to clear their heads sometimes. I would give her the space but also make intermittent contact to see how she is


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