My son has a horrible attitude towards his father and I. When asked to do his chores, he will stomp his feet and tell me outright NO. He shows no respect, does not come home from school, instead goes to his friends houses, without letting me know or asking prior. Im just at a loss as to what we can do to help him show us respect and his bad attitude towards us disappear.


Posted by Jennifer, 23rd October 2018


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  • Engage your child when they are trapped in the car with you. Be gentle and let them know that you are on their side and that you would like to be spoken to politely. This is a stage, but not a pleasant one. If there is something going on that they need help with, reach out to an organisation like Headspace etc. He may be happier to talk with a stranger. Don’t put up with their behaviour, but at the same time choose your battles. When possible let him have little wins. Involve him in decisions about his life as much as you can. It all comes down to him wanting to be independent but not quite being ready to be, he still needs your support and guidance. He needs to know that you will be there if he needs you. Where you can – let him make his own decisions, but also let him know that you want him to make those decisions with information, education and discussion behind the decision. Good luck. He will return :)



  • Agree with the previous post that often this type of behaviour is linked to circumstances around them – look to see of there has been any change, encourage open communication and be patient and supportive



  • I saw a picture of a goldfish, with a shark’s fin protruding from the surface of the water. The point was the vulnerable goldfish hides behind the fierceness of the shark or the bad behaviour is to mask some unmet need. Have there been any changes in your life that might be affecting him? Perhaps there is an issue at school. I haven’t done the course myself however I have been recommended “circle of security” and 123 Magic.



  • You just to set rules, guidelines and a list of what’s expected and stick to it. It’s most likely just a phase that will pass, so don’t let up, you will get through it



  • Depending on the age, you could take toys/devices off him and make him earn them back. Maybe even start a rewards chart – so many stars/ticks = a reward (pocket money or an experience with me, my husband or as a family). My kids really like pocket money but if they don’t do their chores they don’t get it or even if they do but have been rude/disrespectful etc they don’t get paid or don’t get the full amount.


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