Hello!

My son (11) is constantly putting himself down and thinks he is stupid. He is behind in some subjects but has a recognised learning disability. How do I keep motivating him and reassuring him that he’s not? My constant reassurance doesn’t appear to be helping and it makes me really sad that his self esteem seems so low. How do I build my childs self-esteem?


Want more real mum questions sent to you?

You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.
  • It is so hard at that age and I feel for your son. All you can do is be consistent in praising him, get your friends and family also to constantly have positive suggestions/ compliments him. What ever his interest is focus on that and build him up. Let him know that with subjects at school all that is ever asked is that he does the best he can and that you are so very proud of him. Hopefully he will start to feel better about himself and with a nurturing mother like yourself he is already a winner! Good luck.


  • I agree its probably an age thing
    Maybe try asking him what is making him feel this way
    what has he done that makes him believe that
    try get him to do something he will succeed at
    hope you find answers


  • Thank you so much, I really appreciate your response.


  • Your son is just getting into those awkward years of pre-teens. Self doubt about his acceptance and abilities is one of the things that go with this territory. Get him involved in activities. Praise him for specific things. Don’t just say “that is a nice picture” say “I love the way you have used one line to draw the wings of the duck.” This lets him know you have really seen the picture he has drawn. Also conversation is a big boost to the morale. Gaining knowledge leeds to being able to take part in conversation. If he reads books by a certain author he can talk about the life of the author as well as the plot, theme etc of the book. Talking to people of every age or nationality gives him an insight of different cultures, problems etc. Listening to documentaries either on television or radio is another ego booster. Of course listening to other people is also another advantage. This all should give your son enough confindence to face the years ahead.


Post your reply
Add a photo
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join