Hello!

My grandson is 1 year old and does not like sleeping in his cot. He has had 2 ear infections and now every time he is put in his cot he screams and letting him cry just makes him stressed out. He also does not sleep through the night yet. He is very active minded. Any tips welcome.


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  • If the er infections are recurring, get to an ENT specialist.
    Otherwise try a sleep specialist. Our friends had a fussy sleeper and this helped them tremendously.
    Please refer to the SIDS healthy sleeping for safe sleep info.


  • I used a sleepy sounds app, that just plays nursery rhymes, it took a long time but finally my daughter goes to sleep in her cot


  • can i first ask, does your grnadchild live with you or are you enquiring for you child or son/daughter inlaw? sometimes moving to a new house or in with a grandparent can be a big thing for a child to go through. definitely see your doctor about the ear infections continuing, also i know it sucks but just keep tryingto put him in the cot and then when he gets upset get him out after about 2 minutes then have a quiet read or a bottle and try again even if only for two more minutes. my son is 18 months and he still has a milk for bed i know many mums would tell me not to put him to bed with a bottle but if its the only way to help him sleep then do it. and yeh sometimes they go through fazes. i was lucky and my son slept through from about 6 weeks, but now hes 18 months he is waking every single night at about 3 or 4 and wants to get up, so i just put him in bed with me and keep pulling him back to the middle with me when he tries to get up or get out of bed, sometimes i let him get out and he usually just walks around the room for a mi nute then wants to get back in with me then when he falls asleep (usually about an hour later) i put him back in his cot. i hope he grows out of this quickly. good luck with your grandson


  • I would definitely go to the GP and get his ears checked but completely agree with Tene. My little one is 1 and sleeps with me. It has been found to be safer for breastfeeding mothers who are not obese and who do not smoke or drink to sleep with their babies. It has also been shown that babies are under less stress (and less likely to develop heart disease, depression, etc) when they sleep on their mother’s chest for the first few months and should sleep in their mother’s bed for the first three years. Cots are not really a natural place for babies to sleep.
    I would never let him cry himself to sleep. It’s not good for little ones. Treat him as you would like to be treated. He is a person. Would you like to be left crying or would you prefer to be hugged? Have you ever gone to sleep needing to cuddle up to somebody? Also, for babies a sleep-through is considered 5 hours. Do you never wake up in the middle of the night and re-settle yourself? He just needs some help. As far as brain development is concerned they do not have the capacity to “self-settle” until they are around 5 years old.


  • I agree with Tene sometimes the bubs go through phases and they just want to be close to Mummy. They can sense when they are near and feel safe and loved.


  • I also hope that the ear infections are being treated. An E N T specialist would soon get this under control. My son had constant ear infections, resulting in him having grommets inserted to allow the ear canal to dry and heal. I was told it is common in tropical climates. It is awful,trying to settle a little one who is in such pain. I spent many nights in the rocking chair with him as it seemed to sooth him to be held with his little head on my shoulder.


  • I would go to gp and discuss getting his ears checked by an ear nose and throat specialist, he may have a build up of fluid behind the ear canal which can cause a lot of pressure pain especially while laying down, my son started getting ear infections just before he was 12 months my only sign of them was him not sleeping and screaming and not wanting to be left in his cot, after several ear infections as they eventually became that regular it was pretty much all the time I had an ear specialist appointment to find out he had a large amount of fluid build up his ears isn’t draining fluid naturally which in end was causing the ear infections to reoccur and eventually gave him throat and chest infections as the fluid has no where else to. His 18 months now and is booked in for February to have his ears drained and grommets put in.


  • I would be very tempted to ask the Dr. for a referral to get scans to see if he has an inner infection. They are not visible with ordinary ear inspection equipment used by Drs. like middle ear infections are. It may be that when he lies down he may be putting pressure on his ear/s. The tubes in his ears may be bent (as mine are – one of mine is worse than the other and I can hear better with one than the other). I know of 2 children have had inner ear infections that were found by scans. One child was a baby, the other one was a 6 year old who when asked said she had not had sore ears. She had previously told them when her leg was sore when she bumped it. Have his ears discharged at any time? Does he rub or pull at his ears at all? It may be that the ear infections have not cleared up properly. He may associate his cot with sore ears if he has had infections close together. Just thoughts.
    None of them might be right. His ears might need syringing.


  • There are bound to be so many who will disagree with me. I suggest you let the little fellow sleep near or with you. Can you have a bed in his room? They are only babies once and for such a short time. He is going to be fretful because of the pain of ear infections. It would be better for you to be in his room than he in yours. He can then gradually be encouraged to sleep alone when he is a big boy.


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