“I have a question on how to deal with very bright 12 year old son who is moody, pre-pubescent and plays me against my exhusband to his benefit. It saddens me my darling boy has 2 homes and of course I want the best for him but it’s wearing me down. He says he doesn’t like his sisters but, seriously, he’s not the first kid with sisters… The other day I overheard him say he hates his life. PLEASE HELP…”

Posted by anon, 28/05/2013

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  • My nephew has 2 homes , he lives with his mum on the weekdays and every second weekend my brother has him . Separation in the family is always confusing and distressing for a child and apparently according to my brother , he has a bad habit of lying which could be a strategy to protect himself as my brother and his ex hates each other badly enough to affect him . It could be many reasons why he does that , and depending how you good you get along with your exhub , perhaps talk to him about it . Could you ex be saying things to him to make him confuse ? I don’t know but maybe talk to a counsellor if it is turning into a major problem .



  • If she is anything like i was pray for the next 8 years to pass quickly and make sure she knows all about birth control



  • It’s actually quite a normal phase for kids his age. But speak to him and see if he can explain why he’s feeling this way.



  • ahhh he is just acting out and going through some changes, try and be patient with him and just offer him support where he needs it



  • There are some good suggestions below.



  • i would try asking him what it is that he is depressed about and what it is that is bothering him,some times they surprise you by giving you an answer.Its best if you do not talk about the other parent and not argue with him in front of the child,and not to ask questions about the other parent.It could be that the other parent askes all about what your up to when he is with him and that will quite often cause trouble with the child



  • It sounds like he is depressed . I would ignore this problem I would talk to him then might pay to see a gp.



  • I have the same problem with my 13 year old. Hormonal roller-coaster I am afraid. Just have to set boundaries remind them that you have feelings too. But mostly make him aware that you are always there for him and if he ever wants to talk you will listen. Good luck



  • Welcome to the wonders of puberty! Hormones running rampant! No one could possible understand me! My grandfather had what I always thought to be the best suggestion. Stick ‘em in a barrel. Feed them through the bung hole. At 18, check – if ok release ‘em – if no good – put the bung in!



  • he must be going through a tough time talk to him in private and have a fun day out with him



  • He will soon grow out of it but if it continues perhaps you need to talk to him and ask what is worrying him



  • it will probably last for a few years



  • That’s really tough in split families



  • I remember just wanting to be left alone at that age. no one understands you.



  • Pretty normal behaviour for that age I’m afraid, he will grow up, just be there to support him in the meantime. Make sure he knows you’re there for him no matter what. I think a lot of us realise, after we’ve passed the teen years, just how horrible and unfair we were to our parents, and its good when you come out of it and see that even throughout everything they’re still there for you.


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