I have a little toddler who is almost 2. She’s a little delight and doesn’t mind whether its me or daddy with her. But my husband has been frustrating me so badly over the last 2 days. I started with potty training yesterday. Just taking nappy off and putting her on the potty every so often. I practically had to beg him to help. He’s like you are going too fast. Its like he expects her to get it right away and I had to explain no it doesn’t work that way.
And tonight she asked for him n he’s like give her a kiss for me as I was trying to put her to bed.
I am also less than 3 weeks from giving birth to our second.
What can I say to get him to understand that I need him to help me and be there for our child too?


Posted anonymously, 16th October 2015


Want more real mum questions sent to you?


Ask your question

  • Not all men are gifted in picking up how they can help and it’s important you talk with each other about that. In all of this I think it’s important not to criticize but thank him for what he does. And yes, sometimes we have different opinions and that is fine, but it’s important to respond in one line on our children.



  • I agree with Missy Grace. Also, some men cannot anticipate what it is that we need and being clear and concise with what you need often works.



  • Oh dear, the joy of taking care of the family…
    It really is a team work, tell your hubby what’s expected of him and what you are doing already.
    Keep the communication lines open and stop him whatever he was doing and tell him straight away what needs to be focused, do it a few times and he will get into line with you.
    Both of you are building a lovely family together, so it’s team work. Sometimes you just need to take the lead.



  • I agree with what JessyJade190490 said. Hard for you though. All the best especially with your new bub coming up.



  • just be encouraging and ask him for his help



  • Most dads are hopeless when it comes to kid stuff. They are big kids themselves. You may just have to face the fact you are on your own!



  • As hard as it may be but just tell him outright. Don’t beat around the bush… Say look, we have this beautiful little girl, she is not even 2 and she needs her mummy and her daddy now more than ever, in a fee short weeks her world will be turned upside down with a new baby, and I need the help too. Good luck with it, I truly hope it all works out well :-)



  • When our second and third was born we were lucky enough to be going private at hospital and were able to stay in hospital for a few days not just over night. So my hubby just got dumped into it and had to either sink or swim well he did just fine with the kids. Although he did things different to what i would of. When we got home it was time to put the kids to bed they were all bathed and changed etc at the same time and i just told him it was up to him to put the older kids to bed and i only helped once bubs was fully feed burped and settled to sleep. Also i made it clear to him that if he was to be taking time off work to spend with the new bubs he was also expected to pull his weight with all the jobs around the house as my number one priority was the health of all the kids but the getting into routine of bubs…. I did little things like when getting breaky ready in the morning for myself and the kids i also prepared there lunches and put it in the fridge. When it was lunch time i just told hubby to get it out and feed the kids. I also said to him since i did breky and lunch it was up to him to get tea most nights. (this is while he was home on family leave)
    He will have no say in helping out at all if you end up been of your feet after having bubs. Its amazing what they can do when they have to. I also worked out my hubby didnt have the confidence to look after the kids, it took a while of letting him do things his way and biting my tounge and not telling he was doing it wrong . As long as its done thats all that matters in the end.



  • I had to explain to my kids father what I was going through physically and emotionally and explain things that he could do to help me out a bit more.


Post an answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

What is your answer to that question?
Would you like to include a photo?

No picture uploaded yet
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.

Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just submit?

Write A Rating Just Submit
Join