Hello!

My soon to be 4yr old girl is having trouble making or keeping friends at preschool and I wanted to know if I should do anything. I know the mother of the girls that she is having trouble with, one week they are her friend and the next they are not and will even hit her and tell her so and it’s causing her to not want to go to preschool. Since I am friendly with their mother’s I was thinking of asking them if they could talk to their kids and sus out if there is a problem but is that in poor taste?


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  • Also you could organise a play date together with the mum and possible siblings


  • I would sure talk about it with the mum who is your friend, share about the incident and that your girl is confused. In specific about the hitting I would talk with the staff of the pre school.


  • Hitting is a huge no no!!! I would either approach the mother and explain the situation, if that’s not something your comfortable with I would talk to the teacher and ask them to initiate a mediation session, this behaviour in children this is so very upsetting, but the main thing here is those girls who are being cruel and hitting need to learn that such behaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. You may want to take your little one to talk to someone, this can really affect a childs self esteem. Perhaps the school counsellor?


  • I think I would ask the child care workers to keep an eye on the situation and let you know what might be going on.


  • No, not in poor taste at all. We have to look out for our kids.mand bullying is just not on. If it’s affecting her school experience, you need to speak up and try find a solution. Whatever it takes


  • it can be so hard to know what to do in this situation


  • Depends on the type of relationship you have with the parents, but it could be a quick way to start an argument. Especially if the parent doesn’t think their child is doing anything wrong. A better solution may be to talk to the educator at the preschool and see what her take is on the situation and what she can recommend


  • If you really are friendly with them i would say yes talk to them also tell your daughter not to play with them if they are mean only play with nice people


  • I’d talk to the teacher about it, They’re trained to spot social interactions and identify if there’s a problem. And I wouldn’t push her to try and be friends with people who are just as likely to hit them… Even if their parents are your friends.

    The way I see it, this is her journey, if she can play happily with people then that’s fantastic. She’ll find friends when she makes those connections, and when she has the need for a deeper relationship than “playmate”.


  • I think it’d be ok to broach it with your friend. She may have no knowledge if it haoleninf. In my experience all kids are fickle, and this extends to ‘friendships’. Part of growing up is being able to make and repair friendships so I wouldn’t intervene too much. Talking to the teacher to see how your child is progressing and for advice may help. I know it’s tricky…and I wish you well!


  • Not in pour taste at all, I would ask her to ask her little one if there is a problem


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