My husband and I both work Saturdays and my inlaws were going to watch our 3-month old which I have always been nervous about.

They are extremely naive and my mother-in-law has no maternal instincts.

I put my foot down when we found that they had received a used and expired carseat and base that they were planning to use. When my husband said no my father-in-law argued they only put expirations on them so people buy new.

I also told my MIL to not set my daughter on her tummy because she just got all her vaccinations on her legs the day before and was sore. I went into the kitchen to make a bottle, came out and she was on her tummy! They don’t even support her head!

Am I over reacting or should I follow my gut?

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Posted anonymously, 27th November 2018


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  • Totally fine mama! Stick to your instincts. The only people I let my children go to are my parents or my sister. They are the closest people to me and are in regular contact with me and my children. The only person on my husbands side I would allow to watch our kids is his dad but he doesn’t get to see them often enough. I’ve never understood the parents that can constantly leave their children with random people/people they don’t know that well. But that’s just me. Don’t think your overreacting at all. I noticed you said your MIL has no maternal instincts – that would be a huge thing for me! My sister in law is very much the same and has a child of her own. I don’t agree with her parenting or things she’s done in the past. You know your child more than anyone so if you feel like they might not be comfortable with a certain person stick to your guns!



  • Follow your gut instinct it’s usually always right! You know your baby best and what you want done is how they should be doing it.



  • At this stage I would follow your gut as she is too young to be making mistakes with. When she is older they can babysit with your better peace of mind.



  • I don’t trust anyone with my kids and don’t leave them with anyone as Iam like you plus my kids have a routine if I were you I will try to swap that Saturday



  • I am like this as well but in saying that, they have had children as well and your husband has turned out ok right?

    What is your alternate choice if you both are busy?



  • Follw your instincts. You’ll be happier.



  • It’s fine to follow your gut. I never left mine with my in-laws.



  • I would follow your gut but also be gentle with them and give support and reasoning behind what you are saying. They may be nervous too so give them help as they relearn how to look after a newborn.



  • all the time you are away you will be worrying what they are doing and therefor not be able to put 100% into your work. I think if your gut is saying no then find an alternative.



  • I would follow my gut i have a 6 month old that I won’t let anyone watch until she can talk so if anything happens she can verbally tell me exactly what :)



  • you seem to have genuine reasons for concern so yes I would be hesitant to leave your 3 month old with them



  • No you are not over reacting. It is your child and you know her best! They should respect your wishes



  • Also; setting out rules for the care of a child is essential in any situation when someone else is caring for a child. Discussions about expectations are also essential.



  • Your child and your instincts and maybe further discussion with your partner. It is a difficult time for parents when others care for their child/ren.



  • Trust your instincts if they won’t listen to you trust yourself and give them more time when bub is older.


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