My 4 year old won’t go near a potty or toilet and won’t let his nappy down this has been going on for months and he is meant to go to Kindy next year. Any ideas how to get him to toilet train?


Posted by Supermum123, 18th December 2014


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  • It is difficulty when we are ready for our kids to be toilet trained and they are not. My three year old just decided to go to the toilet and do his number 2’s instead of in his pants all on his own. I never thought it would end. For his wee’s he liked to wee out side, so we let him and then once he realised it was great not having wet pants we started moving him in more to use the toilet. Just hang in there it will happen, just remind him that big kiddies that go to school use the toilet. I worked as a teacher aid in a prep class and had to fix many messes. It happens. Dont beat yourself up aboyt it. I hope this helps. Kind regards.



  • Get a referral to a continence nurse. They will guide yous through it



  • You could go all hard core on him and remove nappies all together. He will probably hate the mess and choose the potty.
    This is very hard on you as the mum and wont work without commitment.
    or ask a child specialist? ?



  • wow most of these comments are so judgy. this lady wanted advice, not judgement. i think that i agree with telling him that it is time for the potty now or toilet in this case. i think that some kids have too much fun to have to stop and go potty. i had a child wee on the couch because she loved her tv show and didn’t want to get up lol



  • Rewards star stickers work for my little one. He liked it.



  • Tom’s Toileting Triumph is good for encouraging the use of the potty/toilet. I believe it is available on You Tube and on DVD. Good Luck! :)



  • why have you waited so long? persevere it will come.



  • At the age of four years, you said your little one has been resisting toileting for some months.
    Have you introduced a reward chart for him? using stamps or stickers, kids love seeing their chart fill this way.
    Some things to consider;
    What happened in his life around the time he resisted going to toilet?
    Who has been providing care or supervision of your child other than you?
    If you think back you may discover that something traumatic for him has occurred.
    It seems to me that for a child his age who is distressed at toileting and to even have his diaper/pants removed, raises a red flag that it is likely that he has been physically punished for not going to toilet? Perhaps he was yelled at?
    Ask him why he is resisting, especially if he has been using toilet and suddenly stopped.
    Sometimes a child will regress if a new baby joins the family.
    It may be worth taking your child for a check up with your GP and ask for a referral to a Child Psychologist.



  • Try watching ‘toms toilet triumph’ on youtube



  • This is a tricky one. Try not to get to stressed or too focused on it or your child will literally back into a corner. You could try putting all the nappies away, telling him now is the time to learn to use the toilet, but that it is okay to make mistakes. Buy some toilet story books too. Don’t get angry or upset, help him clean up after himself and be as reassuring as you can be. Persist for as long as you can, of you need help, talk to your child health nurse who can guide you. Good luck, I know this seems frustrating, but hopefully he will get this sooner than you think. He may be scared of the toilet, so try to be calm and quiet when toileting.



  • I would NEVER make my child clean up their poo or wee on the floor! I think that is horrible advice. I would definitely take him out of nappies and eventually he will get it. Don’t make him feel ashamed.



  • I’m having the same problem with miss just turned 3…she just doesn’t want too. :(



  • Take him outta nappies do he has no choice and when he messes in his pants or on the floor which he will make him help you clean it up. He is old enough to do so and will understand that the toilet and potty are the better option.


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