My 8 year old daughter started playing with two girls from her year Y & Z.
Y hits and pushes my daughter. My daughter has told her to stop and that she doesn’t like it. Y says that this is what happens in her family and that Z puts up with it.
My daughter likes Y but obviously doesn’t want this behavior to continue. She said that she will give Y one more chance and if Y hits again, she will not be friends with Y.
Any advice?


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Posted anonymously, 30th January 2019


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  • Y is not a friend. Friends do not behave this way. If Z puts up with this, that is up to her.
    Have a look at the big picture here.
    There is abuse in the home of Y this is her normality.
    Z may be too afraid to stand up for herself against being bullied by Y
    Your daughter knows this behaviour is unacceptable and said she is giving Y one more chance, that is very generous of her. Your daughter values herself to not allow this to continue. Bravo to your parenting, that your daughter respects herself and others!
    What I am concerned about is what is happening in the home of Y. Perhaps you might bring this to the attention of the teacher and school guidance officer. Y is doing to others what is being done to her at home and CPS need to be notified. As for little Z, she could do with some encouragement to not allow others to push her around. She needs to learn that she deserves better. Do you know the mother of Z.? The teacher could be asked if she could include some lessons for the class to learn about respecting themselves and others. How to acknowledge that they are all deserving of respect and kindness and how to give respect and kindness to others.



  • Your daughter sounds quite wise. She has communicated that she doesn’t like the behaviour and drawn a line with what she won’t tolerate. It sounds as if she has that friendship and behaviour sorted.

    On the other issue- Y may be suffering from abuse. Is it possible to mention something to her teacher? Is this something that the teacher can sound out? Are there other parents that know Ys parents? Actually I’m thinking that you may need to get some advice on what to do about this. You could always call DHHS / Child protection and ask them what you need to do to ensure that Y is safe.


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