My sister works in childcare and she is always sick. I have a 4 month old baby,  she has been sick a few times this winter just a cold, mild fever, runny nose etc. I hate when she’s sick she can’t eat and sleep it’s hard on her and as a mum I want her to be happy and healthy I hate to see her suffer. I know that sickness happens I just think I should try my best to protect her.

I also think that any sickness for a baby is dangerous! My sister is not a mum but she judges all mothers and think she knows best because she works in childcare. When she is sick she kisses my daughter on the lips. I have told her so many times not to and she just says I’m overprotective to get over it, sickness happens and it will make her stronger.

She says I’m becoming an over protective mum! We don’t live together but I visit regularly and all I say is don’t kiss her on the lips! Am I wrong and over protective and will the germs make her stronger? Or how do I convince my sister to stop judging mums and that having a sick baby is bad?


Posted by Carla Frain, 3rd September 2014


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  • No, I don’t think you’re being over protective, it’s awful when our kids are sick. I would even be stopping the visits when your sister is sick, avoiding her all together. On the upside, kids need to be exposed to germs to build up their immunity, but too many germs aren’t good either



  • Well said mom888. I totally agree with your comment.



  • Yes I have seen it before . My sister in law used to share food with my kids, it was disgusting , but not when she is sick though . To me, this is a common sense issue and she may have developed a mentality that she knows best ( as you know ) . But everyone knows that if you have a cold not to kiss anyone right ? So at the end ask yourself if she isn’t willing to change can you accept that she will continue doing it . When I kiss my kids even when they were young its always on the forehead or cheeks so how lips got into it is beyond me .



  • I empathise with both sides here. really you have the right to ask her to refrain. I too had a dear friend who worked in childcare no kids. thought she knew it all…. she had a lock on outside of her kids bedroom door to keep them in… boy did I have to bite my tongue…….. to this day this shocks me!



  • I would tell her that she should respect your choice and it’s a bit different being near someone to actually kissing them as its contact and very likely to pass that way. Sure, babies are going to be exposed to it from time to time but you want to try to avoid them getting it if you can, so maybe tell her to wash her hands and no kisses til she is better :)



  • Its really tough, goodluck with that oen



  • Of course we hate seeing our kids sick, it’s part of life though. I would still want to avoid it though, especially when bub is still so young. Surely your sister, being in childcare, would realise this



  • Can you be blunt enough to say you’re considering not letting her see your baby if she won’t respect your wishes?



  • I understand your concern, but by exposing your child to these kinds of things, they create a stronger immune system, if you wrap you child in a bubble they get sick alot in later life



  • You are not being overprotective! you are right in not wanting your little one to pick up bacteria or virus from your sister. You are the parent and it is your responsibility to protect her. Children pass around infections so easily and while mostly they do no serious harm and babies are protected somewhat if they are breast fed. However why your sister would subject your little one to such is beyond me!
    I used to work in child care and we picked up infections from the children from whatever is going around and can transfer them to others. I would never hold a baby unless I had showered first. My grand children were small when I worked in child care. We had our immunizations as a requirement to work we also had to maintain CPR.
    Your sister needs to shower after work before visiting your baby. And if she REALLY paid attention in her class she aught to know how quickly cross infections occur. One would expect with her training she would also want to protect your little one. When I was nursing in a hospital, the first thing I did was shower, wash my hair before I had contact with my own children who were small at that time.
    I suggest you do not visit your sister if she refuses to take the necessary precautions. No one should EVER kiss a baby on the lips. That is disgusting and a big risk for infections. It is the fastest way of transferring herpes. It is also the fastest way of transferring Mono. These are lifelong infections.
    You are the parent…you make the rules when it comes to what is best for your baby!



  • No, working in childcare she should be more intelligent then that. Not to mention she shouldn’t be kissing someone else’s baby on the lips anyway.



  • I would feel the same as you. Before I had a child I saw things very differently. Working in childcare is not the same as having a child. Big difference.



  • If she is a child care educator she should be aware how colds. flu, viruses can be spread? staying healthy in child care??, that she should be excluded if she is not feeling feeling well temperatures etc??, im feeling frustrated just reading your post, your sister should not be kissing her on the lips, i never kissed my children on the lips at that age nor would i want anyone else too. You have every right to be protective that is you baby! Im sure we would all agree that we are over protective with our first baby but imagine if that cold was not just a cold but something more serious as sometimes can be, sorry to come across hasty but if it were me id put my foot down heavily! again apologies if it sounds nasty but pet hate people coming around children/babies when they know they are or just getting over illness!!!!



  • Your sister should definitely not be near your child when she is sick. She has not any children of her own, (and although working in daycare) she has not the slightest idea about how a mum protects and worries about her child”s health. Tell her you are not an overprotective mum but you are worried about your child and it is your right as a mother to protect your child the best way you can. If she doesn’t listen, tell her she has to stay away until she is not sick. If she wants to be part of your life and your baby’s life she will respect your decision, but at the moment she has not idea because she is not a mother herself. Hopefully she will change if and when she has a child.



  • If she won’t listen to your concerns then keep away while she is sick and tell her why.


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