I have 3 children; 5, 3 1/2 and 20 months. Were thinking about having a 4th but not sure what kind of gap to leave! There is 22 months between the first and second and 23 months between the second and third. My first has just started school. Should we have the last close too or have a big gap?


Posted anonymously, 2nd April 2014


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  • get it over and done with! brave woman



  • I agree with bellab – personalities, temperaments, sleeping patterns – some children are more challenging which would mean you might need a break!



  • I don’t think any age gap is perfect. Mine are 18 months apart and that was very hard when they were little but getting easier now.



  • I would keep the gap pretty close, thats if you can!



  • How did you go with the current ages gaps? Did you like it or was it to close or to far away? :)



  • keep the gap close if you can



  • This can vary so widely with things like your kids’ personalities… I’d probably try to keep the gap small, but I don’t think there’s a definitive answer.



  • Between my 3rd & 4th I have a 26 month age gap :)



  • I think close gap is good if you natural give birth. If C-section at least you need wait for two years for another baby.



  • I have 3 years between 1 and 2 and 15 months between 2 and 3 and 10 years between 3 and 4 and I actually found the 15 month gap the best so if it was me I would be having another very soon to keep the gap small.



  • Really depends on you & your partner’s readiness. I have 5 years between my girls because I didn’t think I could have coped with 2 under 5 at the same time.



  • i would have another one close



  • I have 2 boys and they have a huge gap enough of a one that my eldest looks after the little one if we want to go out. They get along great and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My sister and I have a huge gap as well and we liked it that way as well.



  • It really depends on how you think you will cope! There are pros and cons to both scenarios but many older friends of mine whose kids are grown up recommends to keep them close. Their reasoning, so they all leave home at similar times and you can go enjoy your retirement lol.



  • I think it depends on how you have coped with the current age gaps. For me, I have a 23 month gap and a 21 month gap so I had 3 kids under 4 and it was a massive challenge. I mentally and physically cannot have anymore kids but if I were to have more I would probably leave a bigger gap this time.

    That said, if you have had your 3 so close and not had any issues (like PND) then I would probably keep them close.


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