Very challenging now we’ve had kids.


Posted by teegsmrstee, 9th July 2016


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  • Oh I’m hearing ya! The kids both moved out a few years ago and things between hubby and myself just keep getting better. Bit sad that a dad can be so jealous of his kids



  • Our relationship wasn’t good after having kids. Even though he said he wanted kids, he didn’t spend much time with them growing up. I didn’t notice how bad it was til the kids left home and I noticed an improvement. I think he’s a bit of a mummy’s boy and didn’t like sharing me



  • You know what, mine did too, and I didn’t even realise until the kids had grown up and moved out. Now I look back, I think hubby was jealous of the attention I was giving the kids, which was ridiculous. We’re back on track now and it’s nearly too late



  • It is hard and kids do take a toll on a relationship and you do forget how to function as a couple.
    just remember the small things matter.
    when you can hold hand, cuddle on the couch even if you have the kids. Cuddle in bed.
    Try to kiss each other before one goes to work. If you can do all that, then things will start to feel better.
    Talk to each other and Tell your partner how you feel because they are not mind readers.
    try and organize a date night or both of you take the kids for a walk.
    trying anything can help.
    My partner and I went threw the same thing after each child.
    good luck



  • Date nights!!!! You actually have to book them in. Even if you stay home!

    Turn the TV off and reconnect. It’s not easy, I dare say only a small amount of the population would say their marriage stayed exactly the same.

    Ask the grandparents or a friend to watch the kid for the night(or even better let them have a sleepover at the GP house!!)

    Get out have a nice dinner/catch a movie/go on a bush walk.., whatever is your thing!

    The hubby and I have an adult BBQ once a fortnight. When the kids go to bed we fire up the bbq and have an alcoholic drink or two on the deck! Just us, unwinding, no interrupted conversations!

    Something we are still working on… Communication! Keep the lines open

    Goodluck it’s not easy this parenting business (but so worth it!)



  • Life certainly changes after having children. It is important to talk about your mutual values around parenting and your relationship to see where each other is coming from and compromise. Finding common ground and being kind to each other is so important. Hope you are able to find support in each other.



  • 1) Are the children young and sleep deprivation contributing to issues? That is usually one huge thing to try and get help with so you are both not exhausted. 2) There after I think making sure you have time out is important so you can cope with normal “disappointments” in a relationship – like forgotten birthdays or disappointments in attitudes/reactions and see them in perspective and make sure that normal little things aren’t causing you excessive distress. 3) Finally once you’re feeling ok (and can cope with possible ‘negativity’ from another) you can start to try and find out what is going on with partner; talk; listen; see what is bothering them and work together (same side of the table as it were) to try and fix things that might emerge as issues. I hope things work out whatever you try.



  • Sorry to hear. Life and relationships can sure be hard and is often something you have to keep on working on. Think indeed it’s important you find time to spend time together and talk about how you feel, expectations and what you can do for eachother to improve your relationship. Personally I found that to love and respect someone is a decision you make with your mind.



  • as relatives if they can mind the kids overnight every few months so you and your hubby can have some me time and go away over night, or stay at home but make the most of it when it happens..



  • I know. its hard. You have to be on same page! It is hard. iy doesnt get easier. your own identities abit lost. sleep is lost….but life is good. life is waking up to hard work to make things better…if not together then on own…


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