When should I start contraception with my 12 year old girl? I’m worried about the side effects. She isn’t sexually active, but I don’t want her to get pregnant either. Such a hard decision so I would really appreciate your opinions.


Posted by deborah_osborne, 4th June 2014


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  • My best advice is to keep the lines of communication open. That way she’ll feel comfortable coming to you when she needs it



  • You need to have the talk with your daughter.
    12 years old is very young & she should enjoy being a child however it is not uncommon to hear of pregnant 12 year olds these days.
    Discuss sex & the pros & cons with your daughter. You could ask her school nurse for an information pack & a suggestion on some educational videos you could watch together. Also ask her school about their sexual education classes & if they are even offered. A discussion with your GP will probably be beneficial also.
    Hopefully you won’t need to look at contraception until 15 years of age but you need your daughter to feel comfortable talking to you about sex. You want her to come to you when she feels she is ready to become sexually active rather than hiding it from you.



  • Jeepers, let her grow young. Let her be a baby for as long as she can, and ensure you keep the lines of communication open and you will know when she is considering making love to a man (or woman). All the best in your parenting journey



  • Put some trust in your daughter, this question was asked a year ago but I doubt most 12 year olds are sexually active, although some are. If she’s indicated she’s sexually active, there’s a lot of questions you should be asking her. Monitor where she goes, 12 year olds are too young to be out on their own all the time, who are her friends, who is her boyfriend if she has one? Again, if she has indicated she’s sexually active you should also speak to the boy’s parents. I would be discouraging from having sex until she is older, educate her about the risks of having sex and why it’s not a good idea to sexually active at such a young age. It’s not just pregnancy or STDs that are a risk but the fact that being so young, she cant fully comprehend the consequences.



  • Let her decide, trust that she is mature enough either to ask for you assistance or ensure she knows where she can access a gp who can prescribe it.



  • Wow 12 is so young. Why are you thinking of contraception now? If it’s because she is asking questions then I would sit her down and talk to her about everything. Don’t try and make it all rosy, tell her the nitty gritty details. Talk to her like an adult. Explain to her what safe sex means, the consequences, waiting until she is truly ready etc.
    If you want her on contraception now so she doesn’t get pregnant, but is no where near ready then I think that’s a mistake. The side effects (including weight gain) could have a negative impact on her, and at a young age that could be damaging to her self esteem.
    Take her to a sexual health and family planning clinic to talk to a doctor too.



  • Id just make her feel as comfortable as possible about sex in general first, not the doing but for her to know you are there for any support.

    I had sex once at 17. The condom broke and I now have a 4 yr old.

    Id suggest just putting her on the pill. Its good for period regulation also..



  • This is such a minefield, lots of different viewpoints. I have 3 boys, some of their friends had parents who put condoms in the pantry so they could help themselves, others would not even consider that their kids would be needing any of this information or help for years. I couldn\’t do the condom thing, I thought about it but decided it was a step too far. I talked to my sons, about love and commitment and to consider what the consequences could be for them and the young girls, about respect and never doing anything they the other person doesn\’t want. Each time they went out when they started dating, I would say \”Do we need to have \’the talk\’\”? I was always open for any discussion or advice though rarely taken up on it, but they are now 24, 21 and 18 and seem to be very considerate and mature young men. I\’m not sure if this is of any help but if you have a good relationship with your daughter then all these conversations will be so much easier for both of you.



  • Oh goodness for a 12 year old!!! I didn’t have sex until I was 19 and I have never once had contraception in that time. Have the talk and tell her to be responsible and if she isn’t the consequences of her irresponsibility. I don’t believe you should need to put a 12 year old on contraception. It shouldn’t even be thought about until 16 when they are legally able to be sexually active. Maybe explain that it is breaking the law to have sex under 16!



  • Thank you ,all replies are greatly appreciated ,True ,we love her ,don’t want pregnancy.But I will talk too.her regularly ,to assess her thoughts .



  • Depends if she is asking for it or not :) or if her periods are irregular etc. I was on the pill at a very early age due to my periods. I asked my parents and they were supportive (regardless if it was for sex or periods) It just depends on the child but whenever my daughter asks I’ll be taking her to the doctor to discuss and educate her about all of the options :)



  • I would be waiting, she is not yet a teenager; informing her of std and pregnancy would be a good start. Explain how sex is a sacred event and not to be taken lightly. Find some good role models like guy sabastion whom was a virgin in his twenties. A condom talk might be ok.



  • I think you really need to talk to her, keep her updated on her options and make sure she knows she can come and talk to you about anything. It’s good that you are open enough to think of this..but talk to her first.



  • So Mich great advice ,so caring We talked she said Thanks ,but I’m not ready yet ,wait till later .So proud of her ,I will some info about diseases etc .Cheers again.



  • Great advice All Moms ,it made a hard decision alot easier,Going 2 GP when she is ready .


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