When do other mums start getting their kids to completely pay their own way?  My daughter has decided to go to university next year and will live at home but I’m not sure if I should continue to cover some of her major expenses.  I’d be keen to see what other mums think.


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  • She should be getting some kind of her own money, from a part time job or from the Government. So I would be inclined to few get to be paying for some of her own expenses. It can only help when she has to move out on her and budget for bills, you’ll be doing her a favour



  • While she’s at uni it would be reasonable to either charge rent or not depending on her work and in some ways how much responsibility you want to put on her. I have heard of some parents charging a small rent and saving it secretly for when their child moves out.
    I would expect my children to pay their own phone, social activities, while at uni her own petrol but I if they don’t have a car I would consider lending one when they need it (still the family car though and potentially shared between siblings). I would stop paying personal items like clothes.
    I’m a softy so won’t charge rent but think it’s reasonable if people do. If my children aren’t studying they will pay food/rent.



  • Finding the balance between being a ‘provider’ for your child & teaching them financial management is tricky. I’ve enjoyed all the answers from mums to this question. I hope it’s all working out for you!



  • Definitely not all expenses. they need to learn to do chores around the house and work for their money to be able to go out and buy things that they want.



  • Does she have a job?
    Does she pay board to you?
    Does she have her own car?
    If she has a job, she should be paying you board for food/electricity/internet. Everything else should be covered by herself.
    If she has her own car, its her expense not yours its on her to pay it regardless of if she has a job.
    if she doesnt have a car she should pay you an extra $20 a week for driving her around. (Again, wether or not she has a job)
    Also a great tip for you is dont meddle in her money, dont nag her to pay her bills let her make mistakes and come to you for help while she is still at home and its easy for you to help.
    If your unsure about board and how much to charge add up what you buy her for food and then add an extra 10 for electricity and 10 or 20 for internet depending on your internet bill. If however she has no job make board NO MORE than 1 third of her weekly income i.e if she gets $300 a fortnight from centrelink, board should be a maximum of $50 a week



  • so what did you guys end up dong?



  • To teach her about being responsible etc get her to start paying you some money towards board – she should be able to get some government benefits for study. Also maybe ask her to help around the house a bit more if she is going to be still living there.



  • All depends on how she is… if she is great with her money then I’d help her out where possible but if she is using it more of a way to get out having to pay expenses socshe can party etc then I’d be asking for her to pay. Whilst saying that she can always still help with a little here and there for food or electricity.



  • My brother is still living at home with our Mum and he pays a certain amount per week which is to cover: board/normal meals/bills, etc. You could always ‘help’ with major expenses if they are completely necessary, but she needs to get some real-life experience, so co-paying might give her some responsibility.



  • You need to show her that you aren’t always going to be there. Ie does she work part time? She should pay all her own expenses and even possibly pay board



  • It depends if she is working or getting a support payment. You could offer her board but anything else she needs she should cover, thats the only way they can learn to survive out there in the big wide world.



  • Our DD is receiving a small payment for study and we do not charge her board. She is a good saver and does not waste her money. She pays for her mobile phone (small amount each month) and buys a lot of her own clothes etc.. I still buy her clothes as well and we pay for her medical and everything else because at 16 she is still our responsibility.



  • If she is earning money then I would charge board, Personally I would still cover food but depending on her earning capacity get her contribute to this too. All other things like car, clothing etc I would be getting her to pay her own way, otherwise when she leaves it will be a huge shock.



  • Your Daughter would be getting a source of income from a job or study payment and I would be charging board and if she has a ph and things alike than she learns to budget.
    In my house the board covers food,power and such as well as all bathroom items which is every thing for personal use I also did their washing as I don’t let any one touch my machine.
    You have to start preparing them for when ever they go out on their own and must learn good money management skills as a landlord or a home lender is not going to cut her a break if things pop up. Once my kids had an income of any sort they than had to pay board and if they had a ph, car extra than they were responsible for all of these things and insurance for the car they had to save or pay monthly.
    For birthdays and Christmas I would get them things they needed like clothes be it something nice as well as something they needed as you will always know what they would like for these things as they are good at hinting or asking if you could get them such and such.
    My Husbands parents are still paying for his sisters bills and things and having to give her money as she and their younger brother never learnt to manage money as they just payed for every thing and handed it over including their car when she wants it and she is 49 years old and still runs out of food and toilet paper and than they help her more as well they also helps his brother and he is 48.
    I was lucky with Hubby he left school to get a job and payed his own way and never has and never will asked them for anything, he is the oldest. I was raised once I had a source of money coming in I had to pay board and budget.
    Just remember you know she is eating and has a place to live and a bed extra while with you and has person products and is clean so she will not be doing it hard as every thing after that while living at home I class as luxuries.
    You can do things like if she is doing good at her studies make it that you take her out for dinner as a treat.
    Really when it comes down to it you are the person you are so you will do what you feel is right for you and your family. What ever you decide to do it will be what sits well with you. You may decide to take peoples advice or even parts of it or none at all but it is really up to you as nothing is ever set in cement and can be changed at any time or bent.
    I did with my kids what I thought was right for my family and them. I am not saying I never helped them if they really got stuck, but I did have a book and wrote it down and they had to pay it back and than stick to their payment arrangement as I always made them check their budget and tell me how much they could afford to pay each pay. Eventually the older ones worked it out and don’t ask any more and they were not allowed and did not make a habit of it.
    My daughter is turning 30 and we still do their birthdays as that is what sits right with me as I look at it as it is their day to celebrate but it was also the day I got the pleasure to be their Mother.



  • I think it depends – if your daughter is responsible about money, and taking her studies seriously, I’d help out where I could.


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