My husbands been called to be a witness in a long running dispute that’s been dragged to the courts. It’s affected us both so I really want to go and see the end of it and bring closer to that part of our lives. My question is do I take my 5 year old son who suffers badly from seperation or do I leave him with his nan and grandpa where I know he will be ok and safe just not 100 percent happy? I’m fighting within myself we could be all day waiting for courts or we could be in and out in a couple of hours. We will be gone at least 1 night.

Posted by anon, 22/11/13

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  • I agree leave him in good care.

  • I would leave him with the grandparents. Could you call him regularly during the day or even Skype in the evening to say goodnight?

  • leave him with the grandprents.

  • no i wouldnt take him, leave him with Nan

  • If you’re going to be gone at least one night, I’d take him. If you can’t take someone with you to help look after him while you’re in court, consider hiring someone like Dial an Angel. and if that;s not possible, take a kids backpack full of toys, coloring books, pens etc to keep him distracted.

  • Either bring someone along who can watch your son while you and your husband is in court or leave him with a grandparent. He might surprise you and be fine being separated from you during this time.

  • No don’t take your son if he is the anxious kind court will just make matters worse for him as well as long periods of time where you are waiting and if you are both stressed he will get more stressed. Leave him in care of grandparents – he will need to start separating from you soon anyway with school approaching. This way he’ll see that mum and dad went away but they also came back, and if you have some closure from court case back happier. Win win. Good luck

  • Are you absolutely sure you have to go too? If so, then taking a grandparent along and that way you will only be away from him while you are busy in court and you can meet them during breaks and for lunch. Good luck!

  • No, court is not a place for children – you likely would not be allowed to take him in anyway.
    He is much better off having a day with his grandparents – make it into a fun day to be looked forward to for him so he is a little less anxious.

  • Don’t take him. He won’t be happy at the court. At least he will be safe with nan and pop and you can focus on everything that you need to.

  • Don’t take your son. Its not worth it, and no kid is 100 percent happy away from their own parents and home, but like you say, he is ok and safe with his nan and grandpa and that’s all you need

  • I would definitely not take my son with me as it can be quite tramatic in a court room & even though your son might suffer from separation from you at least his grandparents could do fun things with him to distract him. Good Luck hope it is all resolved quickly for you & your family.

  • I’ve been in the same situation, and I have left our son with my parents. We found out that I would not be allowed in the court room with my son, as he could have disrupted proceedings, and I really wanted to be in the court room with my husband, so in the end, as much as I didn’t want to (and I need to add that my parents were very reluctant to look after my son), the choice was to leave my son with my parents. You and your partner will both be under enough stress already without having to negotiate with the court staff about where you’d be allowed to wait with your son. Good luck. Hope these proceedings will indeed end that part of your lives and you can move on to happier times.

  • probably best not to take your son just incase it affects him to.

  • if you are going somewhere that requires you gone maybe one night is it possible for one grandparent to come and stay where you are staying?, that way you don’t need to leave him for as long as you think but just while you are at the actual court :)

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