My niece is being bullied at school. She is 11 and has been completely out cast by her social circle who now make fun of her and won’t speak to her. Her mother has alerted the school and is following up but I would like to provide some support and encouragement and maybe even some practical advice to my niece. I have looked at a lot of web sites but frankly the generic information doesn’t seem that useful.
Thanks


Posted anonymously, 2nd July 2015


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  • I was bullied so much I had to change schools and the new school wasn’t much better. She just needs to know that it will get better eventually and make her a stronger adult in the end. Just be an escape for her if she needs one.



  • Has the mum tried to invite her class mates around for play dates? Sometimes school kids are like sheep, they just follow the leader, but are different outside of school. The social contact outside of school might help her cope better at school. And if the bullies spend time with her out of school, they might realise she’s more then ok and begin socialising at school again. Good luck with it, bullying can have such detrimental effects on our kids



  • My sister was bullied in primary school so I feel for your niece :( my mum ended up changing schools it was the best decision she made! Kids can be so cruel :(



  • I hope things have improved for you niece. I have a toddler girl and I do worry about her future as girls can be mean to other girls. There were some great tips and advise from the others, I hope it helped.



  • Check out bullying no way online. It has lots of helpful tips and resources



  • it is such a difficult thing to intervene in as often the kids don’t want you to say anything in fear of making it worse. however if they have already notified the school then this needs to be followed up with reassurance as to what exactly they have in place to prevent this and resolve it. Kids can be so mean. If they are her good friends then perhaps her mother could have a private conversation with one or some of the mothers to alert them to the problem as they may not be aware their daughter is doing this and can possibly help resolve it.



  • This happened to my son who was bullied by a group of girls!! I talked to him about it and gave him options to deal with it, he could
    a) speak to them directly and let them know that if it did not stop that his mother would ring their parents, b) speak to the teacher or c) I would be going to speak with the teacher.
    This seemed to give him some power and he chose to speak to the girls himself. I also spoke to his teacher and she did an interactive class activity on bullying which was great



  • Being picked on as a kid is hard work.

    I might suggest trying an out of school activity that she will enjoy an excel at.
    – make friends out side of school

    If she really isnt happy and things dont improve, maybe think of trying another school.
    Kids can be really cruel and you dont want her to lose herself.

    Chy.com.au is a SA based website but has information about bullying and how to help.
    13 health is also good to stop for resources.
    Perhaps try a local GP and see of they have any additional resources.

    I hope everything works out!



  • This breaks my heart, I was shocked when my then 5 yr old was being bullied. I had no idea kids could be so cruel at such a young age.
    The best thing I did was speak to the parents. I was polite and just spoke to them about what I had heard was going on. I suggested a playdate type meeting with their son and mine so we could talk while they work out their problems. It helped alot. The parents had no idea and were very disappointed in their child and simply told him to pull his head out, be nice and explained to him what my son was feeling and made him realise how much he wouldnt like to feel that way.
    I hope your sister finds answers, its a cruel place in the playground



  • I saw this happen to my neice around the same age – all of a sudden this crazy outgoing girl was introverted and cowered in the shadows of others. It broke my heart. The school addressed what they could (so I believe) but the damage was done. My neice needed reinforcement that she is loved, talented and the bully was jealous and trying to hurt her because of this jealousy. Schools apparently HAVE to do something – maybe contact them about their policies and give your neice a hug from all those like myself that were bullied themselves



  • yes well maybe she could be the voice of bullying. She could make a youtube video or organise a talk at school or even start a group where people can come and talk about things with a school counsellor present so that they could support each other. Use her experience to help other people. She could get help from her school counsellor and even go to a youth club so she might feel more confident in speaking about it to a totally neutral person



  • My kids have been tought something at their karte class on how to deal with bullies the most important words she can learn is STOP I DONT LIKE IT. and then to report it straight away to a teacher or yard duty person. It wll boost her confidence if they support her in this, Also if they move her into another class this would also help with her confidnece, yes its mid year but it would take her away from a negative influence which she does not need at all for her own well being, They need to put her first that is most important….



  • bullyingnoway.gov.au

    My daughter brought a pamphlet home from school with the above website, it is an easy to use website that focuses on different groups, such as young children, students, parents, teachers. It provides information about what you should do if you are getting bullied. it might be a good place for your niece to start.

    I think it is important that you let he know that you are there to support her, and there will be no judgement about anything said, you will always be there for her even if it is just to listen but if she would like advice you can help with that too. I hope the bullying stops, it is not fair for so many children to have to be going through this.



  • Look maybe she needs to go to a different school if she doesn’t have friends at this one. Maybe she will find her crowd there but she will get a fresh start. As adults, we tend to think “oh stick it out” but sometimes, that’s not the best course of action. I can imagine the low self esteem and even fear, that she experiences walking into that school everyday. It won’t be productive to her personal growth and it will hinder her learning. Try to talk to her and see what she says and she might be more confident to talk to you. We can tell children to be the bigger person and ignore all this bullying but when you are a teenager, it is hard to do. Hopefully the school sorts it out. I hope that she doesn’t get bullied online.



  • This is a very sad situation, but these days most schools have programs in place to help bullying victims. As long as the teachers are aware of the problem and are actively involved, the situation should be resolved. The real problem is with the bully, not the victim.


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