My 19 yr old sisters son has finished with his first love of 5 years not of his agreement. He is so hard to console and at this stage he doesn’t want to hear any advice from anyone. What is the best way to say.(Move on nicely, plenty of other fish in the sea as my mum would say ).


Posted anonymously, 1st January 2019


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  • That’s the last thing they want to hear honestly. All he needs is time and just be there for them. Yes it hurts and it sucks but he will come around and will heal



  • It’s just something only time will help with. It’s crushing at the moment, but those feelings will pass. All you can do is be there for him, listen, don’t judge. Let him know you love him and wait til it passes



  • My teenage daughter went through a breakup as well and I told her that when relationships don’t work out it means that that person was not right for her in the long run. Rather than looking upon it as a loss, look upon it as an experience, remember the good times, and don’t try to hold onto someone who’s not right for you.



  • Don’t try to rush him. Five years is almost a quarter of hs life! It’s okay for him to need time to get over it.



  • Are you able to talk with his Dad or other males about this? It would probably be really good to get a male’s perspective on this as they do deal with emotions often differently. So much will still be the same – the grief, sadness loss etc, but they may have some ideas on what helped them work through the pain.



  • Sounds he’s really grieving the loss of his (first) love. It’s a big thing, don’t wipe it away with things like you have to move on, plenty of fish in the sea. Rather sow understanding and give him time to get over it.



  • Distraction is the only way to ease it apart from time just be there and do things he loves with him.



  • Aww poor thing. It’s so hard being dumped at any age, but especially after a long time with someone you loved! I don’t think there really is anything you can say to make it better for him, he needs his space and time to get over this break up. Maybe just send him a letter/text explaining that you are there for him if he needs to talk and it will be in confidence? By hounding him to talk it will only push him away further. A subtle text or letter will reassure him theres someone there for him if and when he is ready to talk and will be a comfort to him to know this. Good luck



  • Don’t tell him to move on, the first love is the hardest to get over. Just be there when he needs you and listen when he wants to talk. A break up has a grieving process the same as any other loss. Telling someone to suck it up makes them turn away from you and look for support in other places


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