Turning to the internet the new mum shared on the forum Mumsnet that her mother-in-law was so excited about her grandbaby’s arrival that she set up a second nursery at her own home.

The problem however, is that her MIL already wants to start looking after the baby overnight at just 3 months old.

Her post is titled, “MIL demanding to have 3 month old overnight”

The mum explained, “My mother-in-law has set up her home like a nursery and has been pressuring to have my daughter at her place overnight practically since she was born.”

She adds that her husband “is manipulated by her and always tells me he feels so sorry for her.”

Adding, “I’ve told her she can visit us and see her granddaughter whenever she likes.” But she then “whinges” to her husband and “plays the victim” because she can’t have the baby overnight.

“It’s getting me so down. What can I say to make them both back off?” she asked the Mumsnet community.

The resounding response from mums all in agreeance was a big fat NO!

How would you feel?

Share your comments below.


  • It’s up to the parents. I must say she is lucky to have someone that will help babysit for her, I never had the option until they were much older and very rarely.

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  • Mil can’t demand this! It’s totally up to the parents. The in laws live close enough to visit regularly, that’s exactly what they should be doing, and all they should be doing

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  • The poor woman the husband needs to stand up. Baby only stays away from Mum overnight when they are both ready and that’s Mums decision full stop.

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  • It sounds like the MIL is immature and manipulative in her relationships. It may be better to set up something that could be special just between her and her new grandchild. Maybe she can be the one that takes her to baby swimming lessons or something similar. That would make the grandma feel special and more a part of her life.

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  • It’s okay for her to offer but not for her to demand. The baby is not hers and she should understand this. Just tell her you need to breastfeed and you can’t express your milk. Hopefully that will work. Frankly her husband should be supporting her about keeping their baby at home with them

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  • This is an awful thing to have to fight both the MIL and her husband over their baby and where she will be spending the night.

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  • I think she has to stand up to her MIL and tell her to back off. Breastfeeding would be a pretty easy excuse – sorry, I need to feed her overnight!

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  • Good way to lose relationships!!

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  • She cannot demand, she can ask. Your child, your choice.

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  • Uh-oh! Red flags a plenty. I have an MIL that we are now estranged from due to safety issues in relation to our son. He is our child and not a possession or pawn in a manipulative game. You need to set boundaries. I tried to appease and make everyone happy… but in the long run it just didn’t work.

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  • The MIL needs to realise that this is her daughter in law first baby and it is all new for her. She needs to wait till her daughter in law is ready to have a night away from her baby. I understand the MIL is excited but she needs to respect her DIL and stop trying to guilt trip her into it. I know when I had my first daughter I didn’t let her sleep over anywhere until she was 12 months. I was breast feeding and it just wasn’t worth it for me. I didn’t want to pump and I didn’t have enough milk to be able to leave her for so long.

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  • I think that’s cute. She is so excited that she wants to help out. How sweet.

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  • I would partially agree to this as I Don’t know the details of realationship I couldn’t make comment or judgement .

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  • Wow – it’s nice that she set up a space especially for her grandchild. But that is way too young for a sleepover! It’s a baby, not a toy. And the baby needs its Mum.

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  • Personally I think she is just excited and thinks she is even helping by offering to have Bub overnight. Your the mum so it’s up to you but at 3 months I was ready to go out for a meal with just hubby and get a full nights sleep! Yes I did miss bubs and wondered how things were but as long as your mother in law is sane and capable I would be ok ???? with this. But once again it’s your child and you know what you are comfortable with.

    Reply

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