Mum accused of helicopter parenting after she shares how she is feeling very conflicted about letting her child get a lift in another mum’s car.

The mum shared with us, ‘The mum of a girl in my daughter’s class (they’re 6 years old) has offered to give my daughter a lift to and from a class party next weekend.

“It’s really nice of her to offer but my daughter is still in a 5-point harness and I would be really uncomfortable for her to sit in a seatbelt booster. Plus I have no idea how this woman drives (she could be a maniac behind the wheel).

“I feel awkward asking the mum if she has a proper car seat for my child and I can’t exactly ask her for a full drivers history. Do I just politely decline or maybe I need to chill out a bit? “

I remember the first couple of times my boys got in the car with someone else I felt very uneasy. I think it is just natural for parents to worry. That feeling comes back again when your kids are teenagers and getting in cars with young drivers. Terrified!

Internet responds

The response was quite divided with many mums agreeing with her and telling her if it didn’t feel right to politely decline, while others just flat out said she needed to chill and stop being a helicopter parent.

One mum wrote, “She has her own child so why would she be driving like a maniac?secondly just say no thanks u have it covered and move on. No need to sit there like queen vic critisizing her. Move on ffs!”

Another said, “Chill a bit and ask if your daughters seat is needed or if they have a spare.”

“I think you might be a bit dramatic with the driving issues. Just ask if they have room for your seat? If you’re that uncomfy, drive her yourself,” wrote anoter.

“Grow up ask for a proper chair and get on with life.”

“For Gods sake let the child live, stop being a helicopter parent, what comments from parents who sometimes should let go and allow their children to experience life the poor child will grow up never living to the fullest because she’s been pampered and a helicopter child all her life.”

Another agreed, “Talk about helicopter parenting! Your poor child.”

While others were a bit more supportive:

“Never compromise your childs safety and don’t be embarrassed by it. Just say thank you and take her yourself. No explanation required.”

“I would just politely decline. My kids don’t go in other people’s cars, except very rarely in their Nan’s, if we really have to and they are always in appropriate seats.”

“No. Never. I drive my kids as i dont trust anyone.”

“Stick to your guns mama, gut feelings are real.”

What the experts say

MILLIONS of parents could be putting other children’s lives at risk when giving them a lift by not safely strapping them in, according to a study.

Research found 37 per cent of mums and dads have driven with someone else’s kid as a passenger despite not having a suitable child restraint for them.

The study also revealed 57 per cent of drivers don’t carry a child seat in their car on the off-chance they might need one for another parent’s children.

The OnePoll.com survey also found more than one third have allowed their children to travel without a suitable child restraint.

Almost one fifth admitted their kids have travelled while sat in the boot and 22 per cent have used a cushion instead of a suitable car seat.

Three in 10 have driven with their little ones sat on someone’s lap and one fifth have wedged their children into a backseat containing four or more passengers.

And one in 10 even admitted they have or would travel a short distance without their children safely secured in the vehicle.

After reading that I think our mum has good reason to be concerned, don’t you?

Join our Facebook discussion below:


  • If in doubt, don’t. If you’re not comfotrtable it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks just you,

    Reply


  • So pleased I don’t have to worry about this any more – it wouldn’t have happened in my day.

    Reply


  • If she has to ask she’s not comfortable so best not to

    Reply


  • A 5 y.o. child still be in a 5 point harness in a booster seat anyway. An ordinary car seat with a booster seat does not fit a child correctly. Also the child has to sit in the back seat, not the front – not just because they are at a different angle but it is the law.

    Reply


  • If you don’t want to upset anyone just tell her that you have it covered and you could offer to take their child and ask for that child’s car seat or booster. Or you could just tell mention to her that you like your child to have a certain car seat and she may not have room for it. Don’t make a big deal out of it and you shouldn’t have a problem

    Reply


  • Just say thank you but no thank you if you are uncomfortable. You have to do what is right for you.

    Reply


  • I think as a parent you need to trust your instincts regardless of what other people think.

    Reply


  • Just relax a little bit on this, you can’t expect everyone to do the same as you

    Reply


  • It depends on how well you know the person, if you know enough about them then it is probably okay with just making sure they have a seat otherwise if you do not know them at all, politely refuse.

    Reply


  • I’m on the protective side of the fence. I’ve never let my kids in a car without proper restraints, and STILL as teenagers don’t let them in a car with another Learner / P plater / driver I don’t know well. Nor do I take another child in my car without proper restraint checked by their parent (including my nephew). I’ve lost a loved one to a car accident and I’ll always be protective now.

    Reply


  • Do what you think is best for your child!

    Reply


  • Your child, your decision, don’t make a decision based on others opinions.

    Reply


  • Well, if the mother is concerned, it’s surely better to say no.

    Reply


  • I’m sure she will be fine. Her own child is still alive.

    Reply


  • Yes chill out. A booster seat for age is probably fine. It’s still safe.

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?

No picture uploaded yet
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.

Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just submit?

Write A Rating Just Submit
Join