Mum shares her thoughts over lack of etiquette around kids parties and gets absolutely slammed!

A NSW mum of three shared her thoughts on birthday party thank you notes and the internet did not respond kindly.

She wrote, “This really annoys me! We recently had my kid’s birthday party and the evening of the party, I sent either a personalised text or email to each guest thanking them for coming and their birthday present (I had noted what each person gave so I could thank everyone for the specific gift). BUT it feels like I’m the only one who does this!

“Most other parties we go to, the host parent doesn’t even acknowledge the gift. No thank you at all. There may be an impersonal group message to thank guests for the presents but I think this is an absolute cop-out!

“Come on – if people are going to spend money and put some thought into a gift, the least you can do is say thank you! It’s just RUDE!”

The response was surprising!

People were not sympathetic to the mum at all with many telling her to quit overreacting.

Comments included:

– “HUGELY overreacting. I think it’s rude to expect a thank you, I mean the host parent pays for the party and mostly says thanks when they receive the gift!”

– “Over reacting big time!! My children thank the kid that gives them the present when they open it, as I’ve taught them manners so I don’t need to, with all the rush around with parties I don’t have time to list each present and who gave it to them let alone send messages of thanks later, if you want to do that, that’s great but you can’t expect everyone else to do it!”

– “I think you’re being a bit silly honestly, group msg whatever they’ve said thank you, they were kind and grateful. If you choose to be more specific Awesome, but some either don’t want to or are too busy to take such detailed notes.”

– “Major overreaction and presents shouldn’t hold that much importance in the first place! Just be grateful they were even given.”

– “Sorry, but yes agree with many others… an over reaction. When your child hands over the present or you drop the children off many parents say thank you then or the children say happy birthday. I know being a working mum running three children around … I personally would not send a group thank you – as it is done with the loot bag, cake and chatting to the parents.”

– “Over reacting. It’s your child’s responsibility to thank their friends for the gift after all they are the ones receiving it not you.”

– “It’s a personal choice. But l wouldn’t call a parent rude for not sending out a message . I’m thankful that the child attended the party and was their to help celebrate my child birthday. We as a society place to much importance on gift giving .”

– “Ummmm who has time for this! Most parents know others are thankful. Sorry, but you’re overreacting!”

– “Just be happy people came and bought your lil’ one a present. It’s not about the present but more the attendance.”

– “Overreacting IMO. Thanking guests as they give the gift and at cake time a general thank you all for coming and gifts is fine.”

– “Yep – over reacting. How do you even find the time amongst all the madness to note down who bought what….nice idea to thank people but I definitely am not offended by it not happening.”

– “Omg you’re so overreacting…seriously who would even get upset over this”

I must admit I used to do this when the boys were younger, but certainly don’t do it now. I think it is really only something you need to do for special occasions like weddings, Baptism, 18th birthday maybe.

What do you think? Is this mum overreacting?

Join our Facebook discussion below;


  • The children get the thank yous not the party organiser.


  • When you look to it actually the person who organises the party could do with a thank you and the party guests can do with a thank you for coming, everyone could do with a thank you ! But to make thank you’s as an etiquette and official goes too far. Thank you’s should be spontanious come from the heart, otherwise they’re not worthed a thing.


  • Ummm…….Isn’t the parents supplying food and games enough of a thank you? Over react much? My daughters always wrote down and since smart phones took photos of what each child gave them to help them remember and also to send a thank you note to each child. There is no lack of acknowledgement. They give you a break from parenting, give your kids food and make sure they have fun and go home with a goodies bag, that should be thanks enough.


  • I wouldn’t even think to do this. I thank everyone at the party and I think that is suffieicient


  • I already always so thank you as we are leaving, I also say thank you to the parents for coming and the gift as they are leaving

    • This sounds reasonable to me otherwise it can get out of hand.


  • wow someone needs to get a life, I would prefer them to say thank you as I either hand them the gift or on the way out when I thank them for having my child. Notes are nice but I prefer to hear it at the time because then I feel like I have to send a thankyou note for the thank you note


  • I think she was definitely over-reacting. My boys used to thank the children for coming and never worried if they didn’t bring a present. They just loved the fact they could have lots of fun with their friends away from school. The present (if there was one) was just a bonus.


  • Where did the loot bag originate?? Children are often given lollies that for some legitimate reason they are unable to eat (often allergies). I know one child who received a small toy and not so much junk food. The toy was cheap and it was safe.


  • Yes I think she took it too far and is overreacting, You say thank you when you get the present.


  • I think it’s different if it’s from a direct family member!


  • I don’t believe this is an over reaction at all. It’s simply manners. I personally haven’t sent a thank you to everyone for sending gifts however, my cousin does this every time her kids have a birthday and I think the sentiment is very sweet and kind


  • Thank them when you get the present it’s more important the children learn to say thank you.


  • I have only gotten a thanks a couple of times. I have four kids so they have been to many parties.


  • oh I always say thanks after alls and expected a thanks as well because they don’t open the gift until afterwards?


  • I think all the thanks happens in the receipt of the gift and when people leave the party. No need for follow-up. I must admit, I don’t like how gifts aren’t opened anymore. We put a lot of thought into a gift and I love to see a child’s reaction and excitement, and for them to equate who gave them what. It also helps with ideas for future gifts for others when you see what kids like. I find it annoying that they’re just thrown on a table somewhere.


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