The mum says that she is struggling to cope with her autistic son’s needs and feels she has no option but to give him up for adoption…
A distressed mum has taken to Mumsnet to share her guilt over considering putting her four-year-old son up for adoption. The mum says that her son requires constant attention and support, due to high functioning autism and extreme OCD, and that his behaviour is negatively affecting the rest of the family, including his three-year-old sister.
A Miserable Existence
The mum says that her son’s behaviour makes even the most mundane of tasks impossible.”We live a miserable life and stay in our house 95% of the time because of how difficult he may be in public,” she wrote. “I don’t get to have a life because of him, we share no family fun outings, we just exist. It has affected my relationship with my husband to the point where we are on the verge of a divorce.”
Despite attempting to seek additional help and support, the mum says that her daughter is suffering as all the attention is placed on her son, and she and her husband are unable to cope.”He is a lovely boy and doesn’t mean to be difficult,” she said. “I do feel that I can not provide for him anymore and he deserves a family that can.”
The mum said that putting her son up for adoption was the only option she had left. “I do feel terrible for how I feel. I know he’s my son and I should be able to deal with him but I just can’t,” she admitted. “I love him so very much and it’s heartbreaking that I’m even writing this.”
Don’t Give Up
Commenters on the mum’s post said that giving up simply isn’t an option. “I see it as a challenge that I will always win,” one mum said. “Our life has to be on hold for them. They’re our babies and they need us.”
Others shared their own experiences and highlighted the trauma adoption could cause for both mother and child. “I have two autistic boys and our lives are ruled and dictated by them,” said one mum. “I’m sorry things are difficult. Can you get some respite care for him so that you can have one on one time with your daughter?” “If you give him up, imagine the feeling every morning when you wake up wondering where he is,” said another. “Could you live with that?”
We really feel for this mum. It’s so awful that any parent ever feels in a position where they need to consider putting their child up for adoption. We can only hope that she finds the support she needs to get through this difficult time.
Have you struggled to cope with your child’s needs? Share your story in the comments.