The frustrated mum couldn’t believe that her son was excluded from the birthday party over his allergies to nuts…

A mum has taken to Quora to vent her frustration after her young son was excluded from a birthday party because of his allergies. The mum said that when the host of the party found out about her son’s peanut allergy, they said he couldn’t attend, and she is now struggling with breaking the news to him.

Taking A Risk

The mum said that she was taken aback by the decision. “My child got invited to a birthday party. When the mother found out my child had a peanut allergy, she uninvited him. How would you explain to your child why he can’t go?” Commenters on the mum’s post were divided, with some admitting they would have made the same decision. “In fairness to the mother she probably became nervous about keeping your child safe in her watch,” one comment said. “And a good thing too as you would need to know your child is safe.”

Others, however, said that the decision was unnecessary and cruel. “Tell your son that his friend’s mother uninvited him because he has a peanut allergy which she is irrationally afraid of because she is ignorant,” one outraged commenter wrote. “Assure him that his friend still likes him and had nothing to do with the decision to uninvite him.”

We’re not sure about this one. While we can understand where the host of the party is coming from, and recognise that the consequences of an allergic reaction can be severe, it isn’t that difficult to accommodate a nut allergy when hosting a child’s party.

Do you think the host of the party went too far or would you do the same? Let us know in the comments!


  • Thats horrible. I understand that the parent of party wouldnt want that pressure but if hes invited you just deal with it. Feel so bad for the parent and the child with allergies.

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  • Such a pity, but at least you know your child won’t have an anaphylaxic attack out of your sight.

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  • A peanut allergy is not that hard to cater for.

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  • That is disgraceful behaviour, the host went the wrong way about things.

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  • I would have invited the mom to come along. It would be devastating to the child to uninvite him.

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  • I think this could have been handled so much better. The party host should have called the child’s mother to discuss how he could best fit in. She should have shared her concerns but also worked with the boy’s Mum to work through the challenges this would present. The boy’s Mum could then make a decision on whether or not her son should attend. That poor, innocent child.

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  • Not knowing the circumstances makes this pretty hard to comment on. Perhaps it was a set catered event and she became uneasy to ensure the child would not have a reaction. Perhaps the child has an extreme reaction to peanuts and the mum had talked with her about it, she then felt she was unable to ensure he would be ok. Pretty sad for the child though

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  • How mean. She should have suggested the mother stay for the party too.

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  • Wow this is so horrible! If the mum of the party was so worried, she could’ve just asked the other mum to stay for it to make sure her child eats safely. We have one child in our extended family with allergies, so I just make every party or gathering nut and egg free. It’s actually really easy & I’d much rather do that so everyone can attend & enjoy themselves without worrying ????

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  • I believe it was the wrong thing to do. If the host was worried about the peanut allergy why not try to work something out with the Mum. She could have asked her to come along with her son because she wouldn’t know what to do if he has an attack.

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  • A bit mean- you can’t uninvite someone you’ve already invited. It’s not hard to make things without nuts if you’re worried.

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  • Host when to far, I would never invite a child because of an allergy that’s not fair on the child.

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  • It’s hard with peanuts as many things contain it. She was perhaps more concerned for his wellbeing and already had a set menu for the rest. Health should come first before anything. I’d be happier safe than sorry

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  • I certainly wouldn’t uninvite the kid for goodness sake, but I would prefer if the parent stayed as well. I would make sure everything is nut free and ask the parents to educate you on what products are safe etc. I knew of a situation where there inviter found out from the rsvper that her child had a severe reaction to nuts. The invitee said don’t come. The rsvper mum said I am happy to come and look after her and bring her her own food to have. The invitee said no don’t bother we don’t want her here. Well that was a big kick in the guts for that child and mother too. Whenever I made a cake or bought a cake for my kids b’day to share with their class I always made sure I catered for the kids who had allergic reactions to certain foods. The parents and teachers were quite happy to list the things the kids could have or not. I would hate for a kid to miss out
    .

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  • I think I would have been more inclined to ask the mum to stay too. It is a tough call.

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