She asked if she was being unreasonable to be angry with her brother for not inviting her kids to his wedding…

A wedding can be one of the biggest expenses a couple will ever have so making sacrifices to cut costs is a difficult yet important way to reduce financial stress. Despite this, a mum has taken to Mumsnet to share her anger after her brother and his fiance decided to change their minds and not invite children to their wedding, preventing her kids from attending.

A Big Deal

The mum says that she was shocked when her brother told her about the change, especially as her children had been looking forward to the wedding. “My kids were told they were invited so were very excited (they are 10 and very sensible so would not be kicking off in the ceremony)” she wrote. “They have never been to a wedding before, there are not other kids in our family so this was a big deal to them.” The mum said that even though the couple had implemented a strict ‘no kids’ policy for both sides of the guest list to reduce numbers, she felt they should have made an exception for immediate family. “I know it’s their wedding, they can invite who they like, but I feel really sad that my kids will miss the wedding of the uncle they idolise.”

Worth Saying Something?

The mum asked the forum whether it was worth raising the issue with her brother or pretend it’s not a big deal, with many supporting her saying she is right to be upset. “Uninviting them is just shockingly rude. I don’t know anyone who has had a childfree wedding if they have close children in the family,” said one comment. “Talk to your brother, be understanding of his choice, but add that the kids were so excited and he needs to talk to them and have that conversation himself.”

We can totally understand where this mum is coming from – while it’s completely acceptable to have a child-free wedding, uninviting guests after the fact is guaranteed to cause hurt and disappointment. Make the decision before you send the invites or live with the consequences!

Did you choose to have a child-free wedding? Share your story in the comments.


  • Harsh to invite then crush them by uninviting. Poor kids. I’ve never had a wedding (marriage was in a law court and I didn’t have kids then, now I’m divorced) but if I did have one, there’s no way I wouldn’t have my kids there and my nephews.

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  • I would never go to the wedding if I couldnt take my son

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  • We never invited children to our wedding. It was a night event and I was very clear on the invite that ‘we regret to advise children were not invited.’ However, had we alluded to inviting the children to come, I certainly would not have retracted the invite. I think she does need to let her brother know her children were disappointed but also be respectful of his choice.

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  • This is just so unbelievable – personally I wouldn’t go to his wedding if I couldn’t take my family.

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  • Very harsh. You can’t get them excited then uninvite them.

    I know weddings are expensive theses days but it’s his niece/nephews….
    I like the one comment that the uncle should have to tell the kids himself that they are no longer invited…. shouldn’t be on the mum to tell them

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  • If the ceremony is in a public place they can take the children with them to it.
    I depends if the children were included in the original written invitation. Most caterers charge the same amount for children as adults. Some parents aren’t responsible in that they let the children run around while the staff are serving food, guests eating and being bumped by them. Even if it is smorgasbord style it would still cost at least $50.00 just for the food. I know of one couple who stated that the parents were responsible for their children.

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  • Agreed, if they were never invited then I guess that is very different to being uninvited!

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  • It’s the uninviting that’s the issue here. That’s harsh. If they had not been invited in the first place, that’s a different story. I can see the long-term division now…

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  • That’s bizarre that he wouldn’t want his nieces and nephews there.

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  • I think, it’s family so they should be allowed to come. I just think I wouldn’t go, well in fact, I couldn’t go because who would look after the kids!!

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  • Each to their own. Our family has always had the no kids at weddings policy. Mine weren’t invited to my brother’s wedding either. I had a great night as did the kids with their cousins who were also not on the guest list

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  • I think child fre is ridiculous. The whole point of getting married is to have a family so why wouldnt all members of a family be invited?

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  • Its a hard one as the kids were told depending on if it was the mother who told the kids or the uncle first you can you usually reason with kids they might be disappointed but they will get over it maybe a comprise and the can go to the ceremony then go home with someone I get it it’s expensive and kids get boated then the parents don’t enjoy themselves as the are watching them the mother needs to sit down and think about it and remember it’s his wedding

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  • Maybe a compromise is possible, I know of people who take their kids to the actual ceremony but not the reception, ask if this would be ok as most kids get bored at receptions and don’t like the food anyway.

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  • We were child free but inviting them and then uninviting them is harsh.

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