A mum has left parents in shock after claiming they should ask their children for permission before they change their nappy.

Hypnobirthing trainer, Lottie Daley, appeared on ITV’s This Morning chat show to speak about the issues of consent when it came to tickling kids.

However, the mum admitted she doesn’t change her daughter’s nappy or wash her bottom without asking the toddler for her permission first, shared Yahoo Lifestyle.

“When you actually start learning about body autonomy and consent for our children, when they become a little bit older, we realise that actually we should be modeling this behaviour from birth, including letting your baby know that you’re changing its nappy and things like that,” Lottie said.

Hosts, Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, looked baffled by the mum’s comments and interrupted her to ask what would happen if her daughter said ‘no’.

“It’s not a case of them saying ‘yes or ‘no,’ it’s modelling that repetition and a habit of checking in with your children and making sure they are happy with what you are doing with them,”Lottie continued.

“When I’m washing my daughters, who are a bit older, they are seven and five, when I’ve got to wash their bottoms, I do say, ‘Can mummy just wash your bottom?’ because sometimes you have to. And they say, ‘yes’ or ‘no.’”

Her comments came after comedian Russell Brand, called for tickling children to be banned, claiming the act violates their personal space.

The dad-of-two says he still feels “dreadful shame” about tickling David Baddiel’s son Ezra in the past.

He added he would feel inclined to “punch” anyone who tried to tickle his daughters, Mabel, two, and Peggy, six months, who he shares with Laura Gallacher. Read more on his opinion here.

Last year the ABC come under fire for airing a segment in which a ‘sexuality expert’ called for parents to not change nappies without asking for their child’s consent.

‘Sexuality expert’ Deanne Carson called for parents to not change nappies without asking for their child’s consent.

In a video, she talks about how to establish a ‘culture of consent’ in homes, starting at birth,

Pinky McKay also shared her opinion saying, “Even if a baby doesn’t ‘understand’ when you ask for consent, or you are needing to do a non negotiable task such as changing a nappy, it’s starting a culture of respect and teaching that children have a right to refuse unwanted touching by talking them through experiences such as nappy changes.

“Imagine if somebody came along and whipped your pants off without so much as a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Read more here.

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  • Talking them through the process is not the same as asking for permission.

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  • This is so interesting as it is something I never thought about… I just wonder what exactly happens when the child says no but their bum is still dirty…


    • Exactly, their skin will get sore, infected and cracked !

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  • So she can do that with her child, but there’s no way I’m doing that with mine. I feel like the world is going mad and stooping to new lows when I read articles such as this one.

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  • Have we really sunk this low as a society? There is nothing wrong with changing a nappy or teaching basic hygiene. I really don’t think asking permission is necessary and what would you do if your toddler told you no? You’d still neef to do it anyway and what is that teaching them?

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  • I think it is a great idea to speak about what you are going to do before starting it, the wording might not be exactly asking for permission but at least helping them learn about their body as being their own and not letting just anyone touch it. You could always ask if they are ready for a nappy change, or similar words. And it is quite easy to teach them to wash themselves as they get older.

    Reply


  • I used to ask would you like your nappy changed now – it’s a bit smelly prior to doing it. Never had them say no to me once they could talk, but I would have said well let me know when it hurts, and you can’t go outside because the other children don’t want to smell you. I’m sure I would have got a yes then. However, because I changed their nappies more regularly, I don’t think any of mine lasted more than 12 months before they were out of nappies – didn’t like wet urine on their bottoms let alone anything else – they preferred to be clean and dry.

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  • I talk to my boys and say things like “let’s go change that dirty nappy” or “mummy’s going to change your nappy now”
    Not exactly asking for permission rather them being aware of what is happening. They are 3.5 and almost 11 months old

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  • So when her child doesn’t give consent she doesn’t bath or clean the child ? That’s harmful !

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  • Interesting view…. I personally wouldn’t go that far with my own kids

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  • Seriously? When a baby needs a nappy change they need a nappy change!

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  • A toddler who hates nappy changes or water will automatically say ‘”no”. So I am supposed to leave my child filthy dirty and end up with blistered skin which becomes infected. That is Child Abuse.
    Some days some toddlers will say “no” to everything including food and drinks. “Been down that street with one of my youngsters on a few occasions”.


    • I had a stepson who wouldn’t let anyone bath him, not even his father, and his father would not make him, after four days, I had to put him in the bath with his underpants on, as he hadn’t been going to the toilet for a few days and was doing both in his undies, and they were stuck to him. So I think if a child needs changing , bathing etc, you should let them know but not ask them.

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  • so how long do we let them sit in filth before child services becomes involved

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  • What do you do if they say no??

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  • The problem is when you ask to change their poo nappy and they say no and you do it anyway because you know it needs to be done you are teaching them when someone asks the answer doesn’t matter they will do it anyway and I think that’s a more dangerous message

    Reply


  • Not a bad idea actually. If you start doing it when a child is small, it will become automatic when the kids are older.

    Reply

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