February 2, 2017

Mum spent 16 days creating memories  with her dead baby girl – taking her home in her own carseat and going for walks in the pram.

Charlotte Szakacs’ daughter, Evlyn, died four weeks after being born from a rare chromosomal abnormality. The 21-year-old and her husband Attila stayed at a hospice for 12 days with their daughter so they could bond as a family, reports Daily Mail.

They were allowed to take her out for walks in the pram – before the first-time parents from York took Evlyn home for four days.

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Charlotte said: ‘So many people have never heard of parents being able to spend that time with their babies. Other mums reached out to me saying they think it would have helped, so I really want to raise awareness.

‘I know it might not be the best option for everyone. But for us it was so important to be able to have that family time and just properly cuddle our little girl.

‘I think having the time with her made such a difference. Being able to do so many of the things you imagine like taking her out in her pram, it really helped emotionally.

‘I was really nervous about bringing her home because I didn’t know if it would feel right, but it was so nice to have her there. And it wasn’t just for us but for Evlyn so she got to come home.’

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Dr Clea Harmer, chief executive at stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands, said, “A cold cot allowed Evlyn’s parents to spend extra time with their daughter after she had died, and some parents tell us that spending time with their babies at home or in hospital can help them with the grieving process.”

‘I would urge anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby to contact us.’

WARNING: SOME people may find these images distressing

Our thoughts are with the family at this difficult time.

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  • I am sure this is something I could not do but if it helped this couple than each to their own.

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  • Very frustrating the the Facebook posts are regularly removed :/ If my child died, I know it would be hard fir me to leave them. Not sure I would want to spend that long with a dead baby though

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  • Very heartbreaking story but not sure if I’m going out on a limb here when I say taking a dead baby or any dead person home and doing activities like walks is a little weird. You wouldn’t do it with your mother, grandmother or cousin so why with a baby? I understand different people grieve differently but I do think that that is going a little too far.

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  • So very sad for them, must be heartbreaking to lose a child. My twin sister was born dead and I’m sure if my mum had had this option she would have embraced it. The trauma mum went through made her not want any more children as she didn’t want to go through the grief again and I know my dad would have loved more children. Its a wonderful thing that they were able to love and enjoy her for longer.

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  • Cold cots are such a good thing and can help so many with the grieving & goodbye process. Each person’s grieving is different but such an opportunity to have.

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  • I wish we had been offered this option.

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  • They were very brave. I think I would have liked to spend maybe more time in hospital, but bringing her home looks so emotionally strong. I don’t think I could have done what they did. But I am glad to hear it helped them.

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  • If it helped them grieve better then I say there is nothing strange about it. Cold cots are wonderful ways for families to spend more time with their little ones and I think we need more of them to be available

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  • Personally I think staying with the baby for 16 days would have heightened my sadness, but each to their own.

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  • I am so glad I didn’t have to make a decision like this one

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  • I can understand them wanting to stay with their baby after its tragic death for a day or so but I couldn’t take him / her home.

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  • I’m not sure I could have done this but I’m so glad you were able to. It’s wonderful to see that professionals have realised that this is what Mum and the family needs. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Reply

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