This controlling mother-in-law insisted that the gender of her grandchild be kept a secret…

One unhappy mum has taken to popular forum Reddit to tell of her mother-in-law’s controlling behaviour during her pregnancy. Revealing that her mother-in-law has insisted that the gender of her baby be kept a secret, the mum-to-be said that she feels she should be able to do whatever she wants without being made to feel guilty.

A Step Too Far

During the holiday break, the concerned mum says her mother-in-law was insufferable and made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. “After being horrible to everyone, and blaming my pregnancy hormones when I gently stood up to her, MIL’s new obsession is making sure we do NOT find out the sex of our unborn baby because if we do, we’ll ‘ruin everything.’ The mum went on to say that her mother-in-law kept telling her that she’d be having a boy as her family’s genes make boys (we’re not sure that’s how it works…) which wouldn’t be as annoying if she hadn’t also announced the pregnancy without permission just 8 weeks in. Starting to sound like a trouble maker to us!

Getting Revenge

Comments on the post included suggestions on how to get a little revenge on the mother-in-law for her pushy ways. “Come up with outlandish, bizarre names to troll her,” said one. “My ex and I told his mom that our daughter’s middle name would be Chewbacca. We kept it up long enough that she was never sure if we were serious, especially since we’re both geeky weirdos,” said another.  The mum-to-be revealed that she had actually decided to find out the gender of the baby, despite her mother-in-law’s protests, but wouldn’t be telling her. “Science says we CAN find out the baby’s sex and despite the supposed ‘boy genes’, we’re having a healthy little girl! Guess who doesn’t get to know this information?!”

Did you have to contend with an overbearing family member during your pregnancy? Share your story in the comments!


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  • Oh absolutely find out even if it’s just in protest! Then like others have said go out of your way to do a crazy huge gender reveal. Sorry MIL don’t like it don’t have a choice ????


  • Surely it’s up to you and your partner if you want to know the sex of your unborn child. Just don’t tell her and don’t let her be present when your child is born. Glad to say my MIL was never like this


  • I can so relate to that, also more my mother in law was the reason me and my partner broke up because this whole time her being in controlling I finally put my foot down and she didn’t like it and cried, she’s never liked me from the start she was scared to lose her son then I was pregnant she got jealous and started bossing is around. Etc long story I’m a single mum with my beautiful girl and I hope one day he realise his mums is actually nuts like she needs help from her past no kidding


  • Yes… before, during and after. We are now totally disconnected from my husband’s family for the safety of my son. The warning signs were obviously there in the early days to the point I needed my in-laws to stay away from me to ensure I carried my baby to term. I’ve been witness to and on the end of such shocking behaviour. I’ve never felt so free or happy since disconnecting. It only took me 30-odd years to finally do it as hindsight and disconnection gives me clarity that their behaviour was always controlling, abusive, and horrific.


  • You made the baby, therefore your decision completely. The mother in law has no right whatsoever to tell you what to do.


  • I would have told the MIL just in spite!


  • So glad you found out the sex of your baby. It’s such a beautiful time in your life and you don’t need that crap from your MIL. I hope she backs off and leaves you to raise your daughter the way you want to.
    Ps.. I would tell everyone what sex the baby is ???????????? Lol just to show your mil that your the boss not her.


  • Good on her! I have a bit of a controlling mother in law but even she isn’t that bad! I would’ve done the same too!


  • I would have done the same thing. find out and not tell her.


  • Good on her for finding out.
    This MIL sounds like big trouble and needs to be pegged down afew

    I’d definitely be doing a gender party to rub it in her face.


  • I would be very quickly telling MIL where to go – with my husbands approval of course.


  • MIL can be hard to control and they do not have the right to control our lives. Yes my MIL was very controlling, I did stand up to her and was not supported by my husband. Though my sis in laws said they wished they could but had grown up with her in their neighbourhood. Glad this woman did what she wanted and found out the sex of the child.


  • I feel sorry for her that she has a horrible mother in law!


  • Your life your family. Include mil as much as you want but make your own decisions.


  • I’m glad you found out , if that’s what you wanted. Just be strong when buns is born .. I’ve got a feeling mil might be telling you how to do everything!


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