Mum upset after a teacher removed her daughter’s neat and tidy hair braids and left her with a messy ponytail.

Turning to the internet to ask if she was being unreasonable for thinking it was wrong the mum shared her disappointment on UK forum Mumsnet.

“I like to think I’m quite a ‘progressive’ parent and I like my children to express themselves how they feel most comfortable, they tend to pick and wear what they want over the weekends and I do let them occasionally change their hair colours with semi permanent safe dyes.

“I agree with school uniform but my daughters school doesn’t even allow hair bows, she went in with a few braids and bows in the other day and came home with a messy ponytail and told me the teacher had taken them out.

“Teacher explained it’s against school rules to have more than one bow in their hair. Am I being unreasonabel to think rules like no nail varnish, no hair accessories and no hair dye is just ridiculous rules?

“How is this going to effect their learning? She is only 6 and I really don’t understand the reasoning.

“Surely if it’s a bullying thing then this is down to parenting your child to accept that everyone is different, I can’t see how it’s a health and safety issue like piercings would be, I do agree to remove earrings on PE days as I can understand that one, but the others seem strange to me. Would love to know others feelings and opinions on this.”

mumsnet

The mum clarified in a follow up comment that her daughter was just wearing normal plaits in her hair.

Her post attracted over 500 comments with many parents telling the mum it is important for kids to learn to follow the rules no matter how silly you think they are.

“Children need to learn that there are rules and dress code, it stands them in good stead for working later.”

– “Your attitude to school rules for a 6 year old means that by the time she’s 14 teachers will be rolling their eyes and hiding from you.”

– “The world has rules. They’ll differ location to location. Part of growing up is developing the maturity to understand that places have rules and sometimes you might not like them, are ambivalent to them but you’ve still got to suck it up. I find parents taking the view ‘but how does this not uniform thing affect learning’ to sound like a teenager who feels hard done to. ”

– “It’s easy to sit there and say “I can’t see why…” but actually, the staff can. If it didn’t cause issues, they wouldn’t think they needed a rule, because rules take time and effort and conflict to enforce.”

“Rather than blame the school you should have apologised to your DD for not remembering to read the rules and forcing her to lose her pretty bows. This is your fault OP. You are making yourself sound as if your child’s education isn’t important to you.”

-“Isn’t one of the main reasons to follow the schools rules and respect their policies. Being a good role model to your children and doing as the school ask?”

What do you think? 

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  • If she agreed to go to that school then she has to agree to the rules

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  • Its a hard one! I think its perfectly fine to wear her hair like that, but these rules are in place and can be contested at parent teacher meetings or brought up with the teacher/principle.

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  • Rules are rules. If you don’t like them take it up with the school don’t just ignore them.

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  • If you want your 6 year old child to be at that school, then obey the rules of that school. If you want to let your child and yourself rule the roost, then home school and don’t go to work. It’s a simple equation people,

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  • I think a warning would have been better than pulling them out. Seems a ridiculous rule to me, but either way, it’s a rule that must be followed I guess if you want to attend that school

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  • You need to obey rules like everyone else. Not sure about it being taken out as first time offence though- perhaps a warning for a child that age.

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  • If the school has a rule about no bows then you need to obey that. It may seem like a silly rule but I’m sure they have a reason. If it bothers you that much maybe ask what their reasoning is. Then it just might make sense to you and your daughter.

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  • Whilst I think it is a ridiculous rule, it is clearly one that your school adopts so for that reason, needs to be followed. I’d consider talking to the school to better understand the rule and propose a solution for change if it’s warranted. Sadly, we live in a world now where nobody wants to follow the rules so I do think it’s important to teach children to follow them. Alternatively, you could change schools to one that might better suit you.

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  • Were the bows in the braid? If not, why was the braid undone?

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  • A ridiculous rule but if you are sending your daughter there then you have to play by the rules

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  • Well if that’s the rule then it should be followed whether or not she agrees with it. Perhaps try a better method of questioning the schools rules.

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  • some rules might seem stupid to you but when you chose to send your child there you chose to follow the rules you don’t get to pick and choose which rules you follow

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  • Some rules at schools are not in keeping with our times. It might be hard but we need to follow these rules to keep the peace.

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  • It’s probably an unusual rule, but every school decides its own rules. And parents and students have to accept them.

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  • The rules may seem trivial, but the School has a right to enforce them.

    Reply

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