A mum says she was shocked when her sister’s mother-in-law admitted that she expects to be paid back for the sacrifices she made while raising children.

Taking to Mumsnet to share her story, a mum says that she was shocked when her sister’s mother-in-law said she expects to be ‘paid back’ for raising children.

The mum says that in their conversation, her sister’s mother-in-law listed all the sacrifices she made to give her children the best opportunities possible and believes that her children, who are now adults, should look after her in return.

Returning The Favour

When the mum asked her sister’s mother-in-law how she expected to be repaid, she was surprised by the response.

“She believes it is the job of her adult children to support her financially,” the mum wrote in her post.

“This includes paying for her holidays, credit cards for spending, paying various non-essential bills etc.”

The mum says that her sister feels the arrangement is completely unfair, especially as her mother-in-law works part-time and is financially secure.

“My sister believes all their spare money should be spent on their children, but her mother-in-law insists mothers should be looked after by their sons.”

Not Normal

Comments on the mum’s post said that her sister should talk to her husband about the situation and reassured her that it was not a reasonable expectation.

“Of course it’s nice to help your parents out if you can, but in the words of every teenage brat out there – I didn’t ask to be born!” one comment said.

“When she was raising her children, did your sister’s mother-in-law support her own mother and mother-in-law?” another asked.

While in many cultures, it is expected that younger generations care for their relatives as they age, we think this mother-in-law has taken things way too far. If she is still able to work and in good health, there is no reason why should she need the financial support of her children and their families.

Do you think children should pay their parents back for raising them? Let us know in the comments.

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  • That mother is completely deluded. Her pay back is getting to spend time with her grandchildren and watching her own children grow up and live their lives. No one forced her to have kids, it was HER decision. I would happily offer financial support to my mother if I could but not if she expected it and was perfectly capable of living comfortably herself.


  • how does she expect them to raise her grankids if they spending all the money on her?
    or is she just that selfish? sounds like she never wanted to be a mum


  • Raising children to me is a blessing, I don’t think I should be rewarded for having a true blessing.


  • No way! I mean it’s nice to help out if you can and they need it but this is just taking it way to far


  • Lol! No way I don’t think so. It is nice if they help as you age though.


  • It’s best not to expect any return when you give. But it is nice to be loved :)


  • We made a choice to have children and expect no payment.


  • Absolutely not. I only wish to be paid back through love, respect and kindness.


  • Um, no. The job of a parent is to raise their children to be able to function independently of them. Once they’re adults, I don’t think parents own their kids anything eg. inheritance, etc. And we should all aim to be financially independent in old age too.


  • I’d never expect my boys to pay my debts or my holidays. I know what it’s like because I did it for my Mum and it ruined our relationship as Mother and Daughter. I’d never put that on my kids. They give me love and support and I couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for anything more

    • Aw bless, I’m sorry it ruined your relationship as Mother and Daughter !


  • I feel so lucky to be able to have had children why some can’t…I have helped our parents to where we can


  • You can’t expect anything if you receive it than its nice but not everyone is capable of this


  • when their parents age they definitely should care for us and if they are financially very comfortable it doesn’t hurt to treat their parents with gifts even holidays


  • I think my kids “owe” me basic courtesy; anything beyond that is totally up to them. Hopefully they’ll want to give me a lot more emotionally. I certainly wouldn’t feel automatically entitled to anything material.


  • What a selfish and unrealistic expectation. I will sacrifice as much as I can and invest as much as I can to try and give my son all the opportunities to get ahead in life. Both in his education and financially. When he has a family of his own in no way do I expect that any of it will be paid back.


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